Monthly Round Up (Jan '10)

It looks like January 2010 is on its way out, and I can't say I'm sorry. Thus far 2010 isn't shaping up especially well in my parts. I'm a bit of a miserable old Hector. Apologies for this mahoosive post - I have rambled somewhat horribly.

●●●●●●

This month I feel I must first mention the awful events we have all seen on the news following the earthquake in Haiti. Nature can be so cruel, and I thank goodness my loved ones aren't living on the edge of a tectonic plate, or that we aren't residing in the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Both the kids' schools have had fundraising events; they were only too happy to give to those in such dire straits, as are we all, I'm sure.

●●●●●●

I must say a huge 'thank you' to Jane for tipping me off about the option within Blogger to moderate comments on posts older than 14 days. Thus far it has 'caught' all the oriental spam, as well as some new Greek spam, which was headed for my Halloween post of last October. You've saved me having to go back and delete loads of comments Jane - thank you! x

●●●●●●

I've been doing quite a lot of reading this month. I guess partly because the weather meant we all had to stay in a lot more than usual, and partly because of my introspective down-in-the-dumpness. I'm not a terribly fast reader - it really depends on what else is going on in life as to how much reading I normally do (or don't). But this month I finished not one, not two, but three books.

The first was 'Shakey' by Jimmy McDonough. This book is 786 pages long, so perhaps it's no surprise that I read it over the course of a couple of months, but then there was a lot to pack in regarding the life and work of Neil Young. I think it fair to say he has a reputation as an unpredictable performer, a unique musician, and a driven human being. This book details all that about him and more.

I am not a dyed-in-the-wool, long-time fan of Mr Young (the blues of Eric Clapton, Gary Moore and BB King was always my 'thing') but after listening to more and more of his music over the past few years, having been introduced to it by a friend, I have come to respect his talent and the wide range of 'flavours' of his musical creativity.

The book also makes it clear how passionate he is about music, though he has driven fellow musicians to distraction with his sometimes eccentric demands of them (musically speaking). I have nothing but admiration for the way Mr Young (and his wife) have coped with the personal challenges life has dealt them, and I think if anything I have even more respect - for the man and his music - than I did before. But my abiding memory of the book will be in learning just how much 'substance' many musicians (and, I'm sure, non-musicians) got through in the '60s and '70s. Last summer I watched the BBC shows from Glastonbury Festival - where Neil Young, and his sometime collaborators Crosby, Stills & Nash, were performing (though not together). Before I read the book, I just enjoyed the music. Watching them now (I recorded their performances), I marvel at how they can all stand there, still able to sing, play guitars and perform after ingesting so many drugs!

Nevertheless, there is no getting away from the fact that the music they all made is great. Neil Young is still making good music, whilst many of his contemporaries have lost that creative 'edge'. More power to his elbow, I say.

●●●●●●

The second book I read this month was 'The Gift' by Cecilia Ahern. I have written about Ms Ahern's books here before, and as always I liked the quirky angle from which she approached this novel. You cannot take anything for granted in her books, there is always another dimension. Yes, that other dimension can be fanciful but I don't care, I'm enjoying the storyline too much.

In this book, her central character is not a person to whom one naturally warms. Lou is fiercely ambitious in his career, and treats anyone (including his wife and family) who gets in the way of his rise up the corporate ladder, with ill-concealed exasperation and impatience. The main 'thrust' of the story takes place at Christmas time (I bought the book just before Christmas in WH Smiths who had some great offers on) which also happens to be Lou's father's birthday.

The abiding message is that we should all be aware of what we do with our time. Aware of the choices we make regarding it; the people to whom we give it, the pastimes on which we spend it. As a Police Sergeant in the story says:

"So that makes time more precious doesn't it? More precious than money, more precious than anything. You can never earn more time. Once an hour goes by, a week, a month, a year, you'll never get them back."

Some novels I read and pass on, or take to a Charity Shop - I don't do that with Ms Ahern's novels - they are all still here, on a bookshelf. I'll read them again, and No.1 has now started reading them too.

●●●●●●

The third book was 'For One More Day' by Mitch Albom. I have already read the first two books from Mr Albom ('Tuesdays With Morrie' and 'The Five People You Meet in Heaven') so it was no surprise that this book also centred around the issue of death, and how we live life prior to death.

I enjoyed the 'Morrie' book because it detailed an obviously close relationship between subject (Morrie, who was Mitch Albom's professor at College) and author; and Morrie had some interesting theories. I enjoyed the 'Five People' book because it is such an intriguing concept - that 5 people in your life mark huge turning points, even though you might not realise it. This third book is about a guy called Chick Benetto, a baseball player turned alcoholic. I read the book quite quickly, but I'm not sure whether I'll buy any more books by this author - is he a one trick pony, I wonder?

●●●●●●

I want to give a large vote of thanks to the Oxfordshire Fire & Rescue Service. Last Tuesday Mum called at 7.30am to tell me her carbon monoxide detector was going off, and what should she do? On the back of said detector, the advice was to call the local Fire Service, open the windows and stand near some fresh air. So that's what she did.

A fire engine, complete with flashing blue light was at her house within 10 mins of her phone call. By the time I got there, another Fire Officer was there with a couple of super-whizzy CO Detectors. It turned out that Mum's detector had malfunctioned - there was no carbon monoxide in her home (thank God) - so I went out and got her a new one. But how brilliant a response did she get? They were so thorough, kind and polite; I was really impressed (and thankful).

●●●●●●

I'd like to ask those of you who have small male people in your household if they are as keen on 'Where's Wally?' (the official site is 'Where's Waldo?' as that was his original name) as the small male person who lives here? One of my friends gave him a boxed set of WW books for Christmas, and we have spent - literally - hours and hours poring over them looking for Wally, Wilma, the Wizard, the dog, and Odball. Not to mention the binoculars, the bone, the camera, the scroll and the key.

What astounds me is that if we go back to a book we've already 'done', No.2 can remember where in the jumbly, busy pictures, each of those things was hidden. How does he do that?! If we are having trouble finding something, I try turning the book upside down and look again. I have found lots of the little bits that way; but No.2 can't 'do it' upside down. It's probably something to do with the way the male and female brains are 'wired' or perhaps is because I'm left handed (and therefore right-brained) and he's right-handed (and left-brained). I find it interesting, nonetheless.

Speaking of No.2, I overhead a conversation between him and his friend 'A'. They were discussing girls - and three girls in particular. A said he liked one of them better than the other two because "She's pretty, she doesn't keep on and on and on all the time, she's not bossy, and she's shy". Quite an insight into the development of the male mind where girls are concerned; it made me smile.

●●●●●●

I attended an evening at No.1's school this month on the issue of which choices she will make for her GCSEs. She is required to take English, Maths, Science (which will be three separate papers - Biology, Chemistry and Physics), RE, ICT, and French; but was given other options to make up the rest of her timetable.

Before we got the letter detailing her choices (not every pupil was offered the same choices ... the choices were, to some extent, tailored to each child) she said she was desperate to do Art and Music, and would like to do Graphics and/or Textiles if possible. She was very lucky then, to be able to pick Art from one list, Graphics, from the second list, and Music from the third list. We are going in to school next week to talk over her 'final decision' but she's pretty set on those three subjects.

I really wanted her to pick subjects that she enjoys, since enjoying school is, I think, important. I'm sure we've all been stuck in jobs or situations which we don't enjoy - it doesn't make daily life very pleasant, does it? She loves those three subjects, so it should stand her in good stead. When I was at school, I remember being required to speak to a Careers Guidance person about what I wanted to 'do', before I made my choices. Of course I had no idea, so probably mumbled about something essentially idealistic and impractical, because that's me. No.1 would like to play her guitar for her living, but I have said I think it's a good idea to have a 'Plan B' ... not many people get to play a guitar to earn their daily bread, do they?

●●●●●●

I'll leave you with a picture I took this month, something appropriate to my reflective state of mind: A white tulip on a mirror.

© Author

Pigeon Post

For the past few months I have been - largely unsuccessfully - trying to lure birds into our teeny tiny garden. I think the fact that it started out as a rectangle of grass was largely to blame. I am trying to turn it into a 'garden' but progress is slow on that front - hampered by lack of time, energy and funds. My main aim in trying to get them to visit, is to take pictures of birds; I have seen the most fantabulous shots of birds over at Flickr, and it would be nice if I could get something half as decent. A girl could get quite paranoid that her fat balls are so spurned. (That's not a sentence I ever anticipated writing).

Part of the problem, of course, could be that we have Georgie-cat, but she is largely an indoor cat, and it has to be said she is totally rubbish at hunting. True, she is pretty good at bringing in feathers, leaves and twigs. We have also had several worms - she drops them on the floor and looks all pleased with herself. I pat her on the head and patronisingly tell her what a fantastically clever girl she is, before relocating said worm back outside. She has brought in a grasshopper before, a couple of daddy-long-legs, and several flies. Last summer she even bought in a baby frog, but as far as 'traditional' feline prey is concerned, we have had zilch. Bless her.

I consulted Ms Gigibird on the issue, because she is very knowledgeable on the subject and she gave me some advice. Within a few days of putting some wild bird seed up on the shed roof, I had had visitors. Woohoo. At that time it was pretty snowy outside and those poor birds must have been quite desperate for food.

Anyway, I had a visit from some pigeons and some blackbirds - one of whom had only one leg. I named him 'Long John':

Since the snow went, there have been few more visitors - it has become largely a pigeon place, despite the seed I bought being labelled as particularly attractive to SMALL wild birds. I have been watching those pigeons though, and it has to be said they are quite amusing. The other day, two of them flew down at the same time. They each looked rather surprised.

Then they tried to sort of ignore each other and feed, but they're not exactly good at hiding are they? Don't tell them I said so, but I suspect they're not all that bright. They each began to do a funny sort of dance on tiptoe at one another.

It was a real battle of wills, and the one on the right got a bit 'flappy' about the whole thing. I think maybe the one on the left is older - he/she is a bit bigger. The flappy one flapped off, leaving the one on the left to enjoy some solo dining.

They are slightly comical looking things aren't they? I swear they are wearing those googly eyes you can buy in craft shops.

Anyway, after watching this pigeony display, I wandered off. I came back about 20 minutes later, and saw something that may well be the reason why I don't get many birds in our garden:

It would never occur to Georgie to get up there, but this missy (her name tag reads 'Princess' with a phone number) obviously has no problem with it. I have never seen her before, so assume she's the new kid on the block. Any advice as to how I can keep her off the shed, and get the birds on to it? Or somewhere else in the garden?

© Author

More Searches

I have been looking again at my blog stats - the numbers of visitors are way, way down on what they used to be, but that's hardly surprising given my recent history of being an absolutely crubbish blogger. I can't say those sorts of statistics mean much to me - as we all know, size isn't important. ;-)

However, along with the numbers of visitors, there is still the endlessly amusing 'Keyword Analysis' option at Statcounter (the stat software I use here at the Bloggy Bits). I keep a note of the ones which tickle my funny bone for the express purpose of sharing with you, dear Reader. Being a bit short of inspiration this week, I thought I'd post the latest crop, which, you'll be pleased to know, are well down to the usual standard.

• Types of Sin. Ah yes, the seven sins - I regularly get visitors searching for information on the seven sins, because of this post from yonks ago. I always have trouble remembering all seven; yet I have no trouble remembering the names of the seven dwarves and they're supposed to be trickier, aren't they? I think that sums me up.
• Gareth Barry nipples. Oh Lordy, more mens nipple searches. I get lots of these, although I have to say this is the first I can recall specifically about Gareth Barry's nipples. I bet Gareth's nipples are much chillier up in Manchester than they were when he played for Villa, but then with the megabucks he's getting, he can easily afford top of the range nipple warmers.
• Fab boobs. Boobs and nipples - they seem to be quite common searches for some who land at my blog. Anyone would think this was the sort of blog which show-cased such things. It isn't, not unless you count the knitted boobies anyway (which, if you remember, ended up on our snow monkey Gloria, before they were sent on their way to help midwives in Sussex teach about breast feeding). Do you know, Dear Reader, a man saw my knitted boobies over at Flickr and messaged me. He wanted to pay me to knit him some ... a pair for him and some for his friend. :-O I declined, but emailed a link to the pattern, suggesting he perhaps find someone known to him who might do the honours.
• Snooker innuendo. Not a sport overly given to the utilisation of innuendo, or perhaps I underestimate the sensual frisson experienced by some witnessing the vision of Ronnie O'Sullivan, one leg lifted to lie along the side of a snooker table? The reason this person landed here is because in this old post, I reported the fact that whilst commentating on a snooker match on Sky Sports, Mike Hallet said "Steven Hendry jumps on Steve Davis's misses every chance he gets". Which caused much mirth in the studio, I'm sure.
• Hawkings Farty Sprouts. Does this, I wonder, pertain to the eminent Physicist Dr Stephen Hawking, and his reaction to seasonal vegetables? Or perhaps the questioner should have omitted a 'g' and gone to the website of that wonderful company Hawkins Bazaar, whose catalogue lands with a welcome *thump* on my doormat each autumn? I searched at Hawkins for 'farty sprouts' but the only thing I found was a box of Christmas crackers which contained clockwork sprouts; the idea being that at the end of the festive meal, participants might race their respective sprouts. It's different, I guess?
• Kitty's hairy armpits on Youtube. Pardon?!
• Wolf Whistle Avoidance. Ah yes, that old predicament. The bottom line is that one cannot stop anyone else from wolf whistling - you just shouldn't be so darned gorgeous. It is a sad fact that the last time I heard a wolf whistle it was because for a while I had a wolf whistle as the text tone on my mobile phone. I will never forget the time it went off in a charity shop, and the 'mature' lady behind the counter looked up. I apologised, explaining it was my phone, whereupon she quickly retorted 'damn - I thought I'd pulled'. :-D I was wolf-whistled by a dustman about 3 years ago but my life has been a dearth of the lupine whistle eversince.
• Kitty Wrinkle Sock Monkeys. Do you know, I like to think this person might actually have been looking for me. As opposed to the vast majority, who end up here by mistake. I haven't made a sock monkey in ages - I got sock monkey burn out. I think it's the same sort of disease that lovely Monkee Maker got where her monkees of knit were concerned. I heard from her recently you know - over at Flickr. She's still doing fabulous things with yarn. I used that link without her permission - I hope she doesn't mind. I do miss her bloggage; I can't be the only poor soul who yearns to know how 007 is doing? Is her RGH still biking? Are her RBDs even more B? We'll never know!
• Even though I never had you it feels like I lost you (I can't forget). I'm assuming this must be a song lyric, but I have no idea whose? Losing someone is never nice and losing something you never had in the first place must be frustrating to say the least.
• Large soft breast hanging out of car window. I think this one left me speechless. Tittering, but speechless. I mean ... why? How? In this weather there would be frost bite!
• Inflatable chaps. I wonder if they meant inflatable chaps, or inflatable chaps? Wouldn't a cowboy find it quite difficult to ride his horse if his chaps were inflated? And surely there would always be a risk of getting them caught on a cow's horn and having them burst? I think the traditional leather ones are probably much more practical. If, on the other hand, the searcher was looking for the other sort of inflatable chap they won't find him here. (If you have time, look at that link to Amazon - where they describe the item as a "Vinyl plastic blow up male with no bits" :-D )
• How to have wrinklets. Nobody else can have Wrinklets like my Wrinklets. They are the best Wrinklets in the whole wide world. However, if you wanted to try for one (or more) of your own, you'll need more than a vinyl plastic blow up male with no bits.
• Is it ok to flush broken egg yolks down the toilet? Whilst I have a very enquiring brain, I can honestly say that I have never, ever pondered the question of whether it's ok to flush broken egg yolks down the toilet. Have you, dear Reader? I'd always water it down and put it down the sink, but who knows, perhaps flushing it down the loo is an altogether more environmentally sound option? All input gratefully received.
• Mr Partridge's Amazing Performing Troupe. This is rather a particular, but obscure thing for which to be searching isn't it? It turns out that it's a play for schools to stage at Christmas: "Father Christmas has invited Mr Partridge's Amazing Performing Troupe to sing for Mrs Christmas. But Nasty Grimgrump wants to spoil the Twelve Days of Christmas for everyone. Can Mo and Jo Reconcile them all in time for a happy Christmas?" is the blurb accompanying the pack that teachers can buy to help them produce it (the pack includes Piano/Vocal score, Script, Cast list, Staging suggestions, Expandable cast list - a part for everyone, and Costume ideas). Have any of you been to see a school production of this?
• Dalai Lama missing organ. :-O Does His Holiness have a missing organ? Was it a Wurlitzer, or something internal? I'm thinking it would actually be pretty difficult to lose a Wurlitzer organ, they're not exactly small, are they? I googled the matter and discovered that in the autumn of 2008 His Holiness had his gall bladder removed (in Delhi, India) so perhaps that is what the visitor to my blog was attempting to find out?
• Ex forces women's PE knickers. Hmmmmm (*said in thoughtful manner whilst rubbing chin*). Do women in the Forces have to wear special knickers when they do physical exercise? Regulation knickers? I must admit I have never given it a moment's thought before. I well remember the knickers we had to wear at school back in the day ... Ugh. Huge navy blue things that would stretch up to your armpits if you pulled them up hard :( It's so much more sensible that girls are now required to wear shorts over their regular knickers.
• Pudsey porn. Wrong. On so many levels.
• I know nothing about photoshop, so where should i start? I found it hard to resist typing: 'With a capital 'I' for a start!'. Sorry - pedant alert, but a small 'i' where there should be a large 'I' is extremely annoying. So there. But on the subject of learning Photoshop, I heartily recommend the free DVD I got with my gift subscrition of Digital Photo magazine. Entitled 'Getting Started in Photoshop', it does exactly what it says on the can (except there is no can). You could also google Photoshop tutorials and techniques - there are a gazillion out there. You might also like to check out the blog of Mr Gavin Hoey - who knows what he's talking about. Go and visit him - you'll like him.

That's your lot for now, but I know there will be more another day. As long as people keep searching the interweb for weird stuff, and then landing here, I shall note it!

© Author

Brrrrrrrrrr!

I'm sure bloggers overseas are getting a bit bored with reading about the snow in the UK, so if you're bored of snow, just click on somewhere else straight away: This is a snowy post!

Before the big snowfall of February last year my kids had never really seen a good, big amount of snow. I know it's easy for us to look back and imagine things in our childhood, but seeing that snow last February reminded me of how winters used to be when I was a kid - lots of mucky grey/brown snow piled up at the sides of the roads, and snow on the ground for a good week or more per snowfall.

As an adult, I find the snow picturesque, but completely impractical, especially living where we do now. At least where we were before, there was a corner shop within walking distance. Here, we have to get into town to shop and at the moment the area in front of our house, where we park car(s) is like an ice rink. This morning I have witnessed two vehicles get out, so perhaps it is getting better?

When, on Tuesday, I heard the weather warning for Wednesday, I nipped into town and stocked up on the basics. Good job too, since the snow started on Tuesday afternoon and didn't stop for well over 24 hours.

My kids went back to school on Monday but only did two days - the local schools being closed since Wednesday. Some friends of mine whose children were due to go back on Wednesday haven't returned to school since their Christmas break.

I confess that on Wednesday I didn't go out at all. Our lovely neighbour 'G' played at snowball fights with his girls and No.2, whilst No.1 and I snuggled down under a blanket and watched 'The Revenge of the Pink Panther'.

Yesterday No.2 and I ventured out to post a birthday card. We didn't see a single car on the roads, but lots of people were crunching through crisp snow; many of them pulling a child on a sledge behind them.

This morning we were out in the garden building a snowman. May I introduce Sir Percival Frost-Trotter:

I think he has the look of Worzel Gummidge about him? He has a grand name, which is what happens when you decide a name by 'committee'. I thought he deserved a title, No.2 thought him a real Percival, and No.1 dreamt up the double barrelled bit. He appears to have nipples made of stone - what can I say other than No.2 thought it was funny. Tsk.

I'm hoping the Tesco delivery man is able to get to me for my planned delivery tomorrow. If he doesn't I'm going to have to try to get out, and if I'm honest, I'm scared of driving in snow and ice. :(

According to the Met Office website, at least at the time of writing, we will get more snow every day until at least Tuesday. The temperature is due to rise to 0°C by then, so perhaps it will all start to melt? Last night we watched the lady on the weather forecast tell us that with the wind chill factor, it would be around -17°C. My toes are very cold.

The one good thing about the snow is that it makes for pretty photos - I think I've got about 50 of them since Wednesday. In my humble opinion, the ones of ice look nice in good old Black & White.

But now I've got some pictures, and the kids have had some snow days, I'd quite like it to go away. Please.

●●●●●●

EDITED TO ADD: Mr Tesco has just been. He brought absolutely everything I ordered, along with two very friendly operatives. So we are now all set for the next few days of snow that have been forecast.

© Author