In Praise of Spare Keys, Neighbours and A Brother

Sometimes I do rather stupid things. I say stupid things. I think stupid things. Today, Dear Reader, was one such time.

My mum is on holiday at the moment - cruising round Scandinavia with her sisters, celebrating her 'big' birthday. (I should point out they are cruising on a cruise liner, rather than just cruising the bars and other venues of the region, in an outrageously inappropriate pensioner type fashion.) Anyway, her being away means I am looking after her cat: Each morning and evening the kids (if they are available - they are so busy! I don't remember being that busy when I was their age) and I go over there and sort out Pepsi. This is Pepsi:

This morning I was running short on time. The kids had gone to school, I decided to jump in the shower and then head over to mum's. Off I went, with wet hair and no make up. I had to be somewhere later in the morning, so was being time efficient. I fed Pepsi, made a big fuss of her and brushed her. I sorted out her litter tray. I then decided to water the plants. Out the back I went, and did the hanging baskets. I did the tubs too. Then I remembered that on the way in, the pots out the front looked quite dry, so I decided to water those too. Once outside, I was pouring Thames Water's finest on the thirsty plants, when .... SLAM! ... her front door banged shut. Ah. She has a deadlock on it. I couldn't get in. She had of course locked all her windows on the latch before she went away. I mused smashing one with a brick, then thought better of it. I tried to get round the back, but she had padlocked closed her back gate. Damn that woman and her security consciousness!

I went next door. Rachel and Neil, mum's lovely next door neighbours, were both home with their poorly daughter. Did they have a spare key? I asked. Nope. Neil came out and looked round the front of the house, wondering whether he could use a screwdriver to 'pop' a window panel out of it's housing. Then we went into his back garden, used some steps to climb over the dividing fence, and had a look round Mum's back garden. Why had I closed and locked the patio doors before I 'did' the front flower pots?! Nope, there was no way in there. As I looked through the patio doors I saw my handbag on the table. With mum's front door key. And my front door key. And my car keys. :( So not only was I locked out of her house ... I was also locked out of my own house and my car.

I wondered whether, by some quirk of absent-mindedness, I had left my own back door open, as that would at least allow me to get into my house, to get my spare car keys, and the spare front door key I had recently had cut (ironically to give to mum so she had a spare one). Neil gave me a lift to my place - we went right around the back, but ... damn. I'd locked the back door. Then we noticed that No.2 had left his bedroom window open, not on the latch. Hmmmmm. My own next door neighbours are having an extension built at the moment, so there are ladders around. I knocked on their door and my lovely neighbour was happy to lend us their carpenter's ladders. Neil then climbed up them, through No.2's bedroom window, and came down into the kitchen. From whence I could direct him to the spare key I'd had cut (and hadn't yet given to mum) so he could unlock the front door from the inside.

Once inside the house myself, I located my spare car key and Neil gave me lift back to mum's so I could collect my car. Still inside mum's house, however were my 'normal' keys, my mobile phone, and my handbag. I called my brother's workplace to enquire whether he'd be able to get over here this lunchtime to use his key and let me in. You can never be sure if he's in the country - he's away so much of the time. But as luck would have it, he wasn't away. He was off sick. I called him: He sounded dreadful, and his general demeanour wasn't much improved by me relaying my sorry saga, but he recognised that I was in a bit of a fix. With just minutes to spare before I had to go out, I got his key to mum's front door, let myself in, and retrieved all my bits and pieces.

I really don't want to revisit today for many moons; I feel quite traumatised. I might laugh about it one day, but at some distant point in the future rather than in the foreseeable one. For now, I'll be glad when Thursday turns quietly into Friday and I can start again. Mum rang this afternoon to tell me she's had an accident on the ship and torn the calf muscle in one of her legs. She can hardly walk. After sympathising muchly, I told her all about what's been going on here today. 'Don't you remember?' she said. 'I told you months ago where I'd hidden a spare back door key, in case this sort of thing happened?' I have absolutely no memory of said conversation so either her brain or mine is playing tricks on us. Oh well, at least I know now; but in future I'm not going to go out of her house without making sure I have my keys on me. Not ever.

Meanwhile Pepsi continues to look like her upkeep couldn't possibly be the cause of any of these sorts of shenanigans. Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth.

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