Monthly Round Up (May '09)

Another month has whizzed by at a rate of knots, so of course I have 'stuff' about which to ramble. WARNING: Mahoosive post coming up - sit down, get yourself a cup of tea and a slice of cake. Right ... here we go:

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This month I have a housework tip for you: there's a first from me, eh? I'm sure you've all imagined what a houseproud, clean and tidy person I am? What I discovered was a way to make your kitchen floor really shine. Firstly, you have to buy a nice new bottle of Lemon Cif Cream Cleaner, and put it in the cupboard under your sink. Easy enough so far, right? Here's the hard bit though - you then have to open the cupboard awkwardly, in such a way that said Cif falls onto the floor, so the top comes off, sending the contents flying across the floor (and up some cupboard doors. Don't worry about this - it gives your cupboards a nice shine too).

Now you have to try to mop up the spilt gunge. You'll have to rinse out the cloth/mop/sponge about 2,527 times to get rid of the bloody stupid sodding messy gloopy residue of the Cif but never mind, I'm sure you have at least a couple of hours to spare, and what more satisfying way to spend it than cleaning the kitchen floor?

Please remember to drop by and thank me when your floor is shining up at you. Like mine, it might stay that way for at least 20 minutes before your children/a.n. other comes in and tramps dirty footprints all over it again, and like me you won't mind a bit.

Sarcasm? What sarcasm?

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I need to update you all on the issue of No.1's artwork. Remember her fabulous Picasso? I asked the teacher about it at Parent's Evening, and it turns out the teacher didn't actually see the work - hence no marks or comments. She'd been taken ill, so handed the books back out without marking. She was very nice, and said she totally appreciated that the kids did need encouragement and feedback. Since then, No.1 has completed another 'portrait' project - this time on the artist Julian Opie. We are familiar with his work, because she did a project about him at Primary School too. This time, the students were asked to 'do an Opie' of their own rather than copy one of his. They were to use a photograph as their starting point. On the left is one of Opie's originals, on the right is No.1's portrait:

Cool, isn't it? She did it in PhotoShop ... she's much better with that program than I am. Learning how to use it much more proficiently is on my 'to do' list.

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Do any of you recall my less than impressive attempts at learning to crochet? The jar jacket (a la Lucy at Attic 24) I showed you in this post was decidedly mediocre, but I was determined to do better. Thus a new honey jar jacket was made for the pens and pencils in the kitchen. Then another honey jar jacket for the bathroom (it has toothbrushes in now). Then I eyed a nearly empty biscotti tin, and, after the contents were finished, made a jacket for that. It's now a plant pot. Feeling a little more confident, I then tackled a passata bottle jacket - get me with my decreasing crochet stitches! Here they all are:

I think I've got that out of my system now. Phew.

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I have not had a happy motoring month this May (other than one tiny happening). They say trials come in threes, and I've had three unpleasant experiences in the last 4 weeks so I hope that's it now - over and done with.

The first incident happened when I pulled out of a junction to turn left, when a flashy black Merc was approaching. I didn't know it was approaching, since the road curves round a bend, and when I pulled out, he wasn't in sight. It wasn't dangerous or anything, but he was travelling very fast, and he obviously didn't like that I'd pulled out. So he started flashing his headlights at me and driving on my bumper for a few hundred yards. Ar$e! Sorry for the language, but it really scared my kids and was totally unnecessary. When I turned into where we were going and he followed me, I braced myself for a full on bit of road rage, but nope. He just went and parked elsewhere - how tempted was I to go and express myself in a full and frank manner.

The second incident was more serious. No.1 and I were in the car, going to pick up No.2 from an after school club. I was driving through town, not speeding; there were some teenagers at the side of the road, and one of them thought he'd be really smart by running across the road between traffic. Stupid, stupid, boy. I had to do the first emergency stop of my driving history - haven't done one since my driving test way back when. I swerved slightly and managed to skid to a halt, missing him by a couple of inches. I was shaking with shock. I couldn't drive on. No.1 burst into tears. The boy's friend, on the other side of the road was plainly horrified by the whole thing.

I'm afraid my first thought wasn't for him - it was for the fact that HIS actions might have seriously hurt MY child. If there had been a car behind us, it might easily have slammed into the back of my car. I honked on my horn at the rapidly retreating boy (who was running away at speed). He turned and raised his hand. 'Did he just give me the finger?' I asked No.1. But no ... he'd just 'waved' perhaps to acknowledge his idiocy or to apologise in some small way? I don't know, but the whole experience really shook me up and made me a little nervous when driving.

Two days later, and the third incident happened, actually ON a roundabout, when a metallic grey VW Golf came out of nowhere at huge speed, cutting me up and then having the temerity to honk its horn at me. I'm kind of feeling like someone is trying to tell me something. I feel quite timid driving now, and I was never the most confident driver in the first place.

The one tiny motoring type thing that made me smile was when I stopped at a crossing in town a couple of weeks ago. As lots of people crossed the road, I couldn't help but notice one particular young man: He stood out from the crowd. He was sort of 'glossy' and the fact that he was wearing a vest top and tight jeans meant that the world and his wife (and me) could see he was .... what's the current vernacular? 'Buff'? 'Fit'? 'Gorgeous'? Put it this way - you could see the six-pack through the vest. The next day a friend told me that The Chippendales are staying here to train for an upcoming tour or event, and using a local gym as their base. Makes sense now!

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I did one of those silly quizzes at Facebook the other day. The quiz was entitled 'What Breed Of Dog Are You?' Which breed, Dear Reader, would you say I was? I asked some friends. One said I was a Spaniel. Another said I was a Red Setter. The third said I was a fluffy sheepdog. A fourth also gave a vote for the Setter.

What do you think Facebook said?

They said I was a blinkin' Welsh Corgi :-O

Do NOT make a comment about my moderately long body with a deep chest.

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No.2 has played in another football tournament during the second half of this month ... resulting in this little trophy:

Please excuse whizzy whirly bits - done to distort the name of the club hosting the tournament. This tournament was special because it was the first time in a competitive game that he scored a goal! He plays at left back, from which position very few goal scoring opportunities come ... but that day one did. Yay!

The very same day saw the Presentation Evening at his Football Club. It's just a social evening during which team photos are taken, and the coaches give the kids a trophy each to acknowledge their season-long input and commitment. This year's trophy from his coach (he has his hand over the name of his club and his own name, engraved on the bottom):

The little shelf on which he keeps his medals and trophies is becoming a bit crowded, but I couldn't be happier for him. He so loves his sport - well done No.2!

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Now my bloggy friends, I'm going to love and leave you for a little while. I'm taking a break from blogging - I'm not sure I can explain precisely why. I guess I'm feeling rather introspective at the moment and me contemplating my navel is in no way whatsoever conducive to providing posts which uplift and/or interest other people. In fact it's incredibly tedious: I feel like I have nothing remotely interesting to say, so I'm going to step away from the computer and try to get some sewing, gardening, etc. done. Reading back, I see I went AWOL at this time last year too - when the kids and I lost our home. I don't have a big 'reason' like last time; maybe it's just a cyclical thing and June is a naturally 'quiet' month for me?

Thank you all for the wonderfully kind and supportive comments on my last couple of posts, they were lovely and made me cry. So many of my bloggy pals have, it seems, been through the experience of miscarriage about which I wrote last time (Roland, thank you for showing us that it affects men too). I was really touched that some of you felt able to tell me about your own experiences. It just goes to show how relatively commonplace the phenomenon of miscarriage truly is - why on earth won't society talk about it? Anyway ... thank you, all of you - xxx.

I will be back when my bloggy batteries have been recharged, whenever that might be.

I'll leave you with a picture I took at a friend's house recently. Her golden retriever has had pups, and they are so beautiful. I took lots of pictures, but I think this one is my favourite:

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Take care :-) xx

© Author

Remembering Someone Who Never Was

October 15th every year is, apparently, Pregnancy & Infant Loss Remembrance Day across the world. I didn't know that until I googled the matter. I anticipated that there would be some sort of date to mark this phenomenon as it's an extremely common but very traumatic event in the lives of millions of people - especially women - all over the planet.

Miscarriage is defined as "the spontaneous loss of a pregnancy before 24 weeks" (a standard pregnancy lasting 40 weeks), and current statistics reveal that almost 1 in 4 pregnancies ends in miscarriage. That's quite a high proportion isn't it? Even though it is relatively common, it's actually rare for anyone to know precisely why it happens. Medical bods have suggested the reasons could be genetic, or hormonal, as a result of an infection, or because of immunological failings. But when a woman (and/or her partner) asks 'why?' usually no-one can give them a definitive answer.

Recently HWNLR said something to No.1 about me and the past which led her to come and question me about it. In explaining the background to the issue concerned, I felt it was necessary to tell her (and No.2 as well, since he was earwigging the whole thing) about the sibling she (or they) might have had, but doesn't (or don't).

I am someone who has always had very regular cycles, so when one went AWOL back in 1992 I was puzzled. I felt very tired - I thought maybe I had a virus; but it wasn't a virus - it was a baby. It wasn't a planned pregnancy, though within days of finding out, I discovered a previously unrecognised (and therefore surprising) desire to be a mother. I had a chat with my then-GP about my anxieties that I wouldn't be a very good mother because of the illness I had then (and have (less severely) even now). I still miss that doctor - she died, only middle-aged, from cancer. She was everything a doctor should be, and I have plenty for which to thank her regarding the 20+ years during which we had regular consultations. She told me that the very fact that I'd thought about and expressed a worry about my qualities as a mother, already made me a better mother than thousands of other women, who gave it no thought whatsoever. Over the years, I have often thought about that conversation.

I didn't tell anyone other than my parents and a friend about the pregnancy (HWNLR knew, obviously). In hindsight, that wasn't a good move, but we live and learn. I would advise anyone who finds themselves pregnant to tell any of their friends and family whose support they would like or need, should anything go wrong. Because I'd kept quiet about it, I felt I couldn't ask anyone for support after the event. Anyway, to cut a long story short, that pregnancy did not proceed successfully. At 10 weeks, I began to bleed, and I instinctively knew that this was the end of my baby. My doctor sent me to hospital for a scan. To the Maternity Hospital, where I sat amongst pregnant women of all sizes to await scanning. A 'normal' scan over my abdomen, and an internal scan (which is not a terribly pleasant experience). There was, of course, no heartbeat.

I wonder if you think me odd for asking the hospital for a picture of the scan to keep? I have that picture tucked away in a very safe place - I can't tell you how precious it is to me. I guess it's the only thing I have outside my head to confirm he was once there?

I was advised I should have a D&C (a dilation and curettage) to 'evacuate' my uterus. Apparently, an embryo which has 'died' can take up to 10 weeks (or more) to be 'lost' naturally and is therefore a risk of infection. I was sent to another hospital for the D&C, and eventually went home just before midnight.

End of pregnancy. End of baby. End of dreaming about being a mother in a few months' time.

Hormones all over the place. Mind and emotions similarly chaotic.

It affected me more severely than I could ever have anticipated. I saw pregnant women and babies everywhere. Every time I switched on the tv, there seemed to be something relating to pregnancy or babies. Ditto the radio. Magazines were full of it. Of course, that content had almost certainly always been there, but it hadn't meant so much to me before. I was very, very miserable. I desperately wanted another pregnancy - another attempt at becoming a mother, but that pregnancy had been unplanned and HWNLR didn't, at that time, want to be a father.

It took me a long time to come to terms with the experience, much longer than I had anticipated. I have a friend whose son is 2 weeks younger than my baby would have been should he have survived. But I didn't tell the friend at the time, and I still haven't. How does one say 'by the way ...'? Every time I see her son, I think of the one I didn't have.

I saw them both last week. Her son is fabulous ... tall and skinny, charming and self-conscious, funny and chatty. He's in the middle of taking his GCSEs, and was telling me about what he hopes to do with his life.

This week, had he (my 'lost' child) been here, he'd have been celebrating his 16th birthday. I wonder how he'd have looked? How would his voice sound? What would he have liked? What would he have disliked? If the statistics are correct, for every 3 children in the world, one didn't make it, which means there must be so many others like me, wondering about the children they didn't have.

Talking to the kids about it was actually OK. I didn't cry (not until later, when I was on my own, anyway). They asked lots of relevant questions, but the final word was left to No.2. Realising how old his sibling would have been, he announced "If he was alive, he'd be old enough to be on the X Factor!"

Naturally, we'd have voted for him ... lots and lots and lots.

© Author

I've Been Tagged!

No, no, it's not one of those ones which means you have to be home by 7pm every evening, and check in regularly with a Probation Officer; I was tagged by Joanne at Reasons to be Cheerful 1,2,3 with this meme. It is simply a list of questions but is too 'big' to slip into one of my round up posts ... here we go then:

What is your current obsession?

I have been obsessing over monkeys made from socks for quite some time. And I'm not tired of them yet. My sock stash is, quite frankly, embarrassingly enormous. Or should that be enormously embarrassing?

Which item of clothing do you wear often?

I'm a jeans girl through and through I'm afraid.

What's for dinner?

Roast chicken with a variety of veg. Oh and yorkshire puddings too since No.1 feels any roast meat is improved with the addition of yorkshires. Actually, I can now only 'do' roast chicken when she's here, as she has announced she is a vegetarian ... except for chicken and fish. So in reality she just won't eat red meat anymore. I can't say I'm surprised, she's always loved animals (she has, in the past, had pet snails, a pet earwig (called Mavis), and a pet woodlouse). Once, when I was looking through her hair for evidence of nits - yes, I know it's horrible, but you have to check them regularly when they go to school with other, possibly nit-ridden children. Where was I? Oh yes - I was looking through her hair and she actually said: "If you find one, you won't hurt it, will you?" Tsk. However, one glimpse of a spider will have her running and squealing in the most ridiculous fashion.

What are you listening to?

Sorry to be pedantic, but shouldn't that be 'To what are you listening?'

Whilst typing this post, I am listening to 'Mr Love Pants' by Ian Dury & The Blockheads.

Say something to the one that tagged you.

Thank you! I like something that makes me think a bit. Not too much mind you ... just a bit! x

Favorite vacation spot?

Because of the illness from which I've suffered for a good part of my life, I haven't vacationed much at all. It's one of the things about which I feel quite ... I don't know what the right word is, but it's not 'comfortable'. Anyway, I intend, if at all possible, to put that right in the future.

What I'm reading right now?

Wild Swans: Three Daughters of China by Jung Chang. Yes, I know I'm several years behind most people, who read this in the 1990s when it was first published. I found this copy in a charity shop, and remembering the recommendations of friends, felt it well worth the 50 pence they were asking.

I knew very little about the recent history of China (or the ancient history for that matter) and am quite shocked at the brutality described in the book. But it is fascinating to read about the rise of Communism and how it became such a powerful regime, as well as details of the 'rules' it imposed on the people of China.

I vaguely remember news stories of 'Chairman Mao' when I was growing up, and more clearly remember stories about Deng Xiaoping, but of course I hadn't understood the way Chinese Communism had affected the everyday lives of the Chinese people. I have been incredulous, reading at Mao's hypocrisy in summarily punishing (and in some cases executing) anyone with Kuomintang associations, when he himself once held a position of office in the Kuomintang. (The Kuomintang were the political party in power in China before the Communist uprising of 1949). He imposed some quite bizarre 'campaigns' on the country during the course of his 'reign'. Husbands and wives were not allowed to be together except on Saturdays. Mothers were not allowed to look after their own children, as they were expected to give their all to 'the Cause' and go out to work for the Communist machine. At one point he decreed that every blade of grass across China should be pulled up, though I'm not sure I understand why.

At the time of writing this post, I'm only up to the mid 1960s, and Mao's 'Cultural Revolution', but I heartily recommend this book to anyone who hasn't read it. It is an extraordinary, fascinating account of China through the lives of three women (grandmother, mother and daughter).

Four words to describe myself

• Deficient or Inadequate (I couldn't decide which one was more apt)
• Naive
• Creative
• Curious

And one more because I can't leave it out

• Hopeful

Guilty pleasure

Having a lie in on the mornings after the kids have stayed the night at their dad's. Especially if it involves wandering down to the kitchen, then taking breakfast back to bed.

What do you think you will feel about your life when all is said and done?

I think that very much depends on what happens between now and the end. Thus far there are too many things about which I don't feel happy (especially regarding myself and my dearth of achievements, experiences, accomplishments, etc). Ideally, I'd like the (perceived) imbalance to be addressed (even if only a little) before 'all is said and done'. Maybe I will ... maybe I won't ... who knows?

What do you look forward to?

(Or 'To what do you look forward'?) ... Happiness.

Who or what makes you laugh until you’re weak?

Various lovely, funny people in my life. And Billy Connolly.

Best thing you ate or drank lately?

After that tummy bug had gone, and I could enjoy Milky Bar again ... that was brilliant!

Flower of the moment?

I have some white freesias in a vase - they're beautiful. Thank you Lisa - x. (They were going over a teeny bit when this photo was taken - sorry, should have taken it earlier).

Favourite ever film?

Well that depends on my mood, but 'One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest' would be up there. So would the Disney version of 'The Jungle Book'. 'The Shawshank Redemption' is excellent, as is 'The Last Emporer', but on another day I might prefer something musical like 'Chicago'. I can never pass up the chance to watch 'Groundhog Day' either ... hmmm, sorry, can't pick just one!

Care to share some wisdom?

I have various bits of wisdom, in the form of quotes, peppering my sidebar. More get added as I find them. I could quote any one of those here, but instead I'll use a new one:

"If at first you don't succeed, then skydiving is not for you.' - Anonymous

I think you'll agree that that is a particularly sage piece of advice?

I won't tag anyone in particular with this meme, but if you are a blogger who fancies having a go ... then feel free, help yourselves; I look forward to reading it on your blog(s).

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We have had the draw for the bloggy giveaway for all the fabric mentioned in this post. The lovely No.1 (who is off school feeling very poorly sick) did the honours for me, insisting that she draw the name from an actual hat. Tsk:

Apologies for not getting round to my usual blog haunts - I've been on nursing duties!

As you can see, the winner is the fabulous Mrs Twigs from Twiggypeasticks. The fabric will be on its way to her very soon. Well done Twiggy!

© Author

Those Special Monkeys

Do you remember me saying on my last monkey post that I was working on some special monkeys? And that I would tell you when they had been delivered to their eventual recipients? Well they are now in their new home and I can stop having a major panic about whether or not they are 'ok' because they apparently are. (Although would someone actually tell me if they weren't?)

This special pair of monkeys were the result of an initial email back in 2008 from a friend of a friend. She was looking for something a little out of the ordinary and wondered if I could help? Basically her sister was getting married, and the husband-to-be was mad keen on sock monkeys. The idea was that I make a wedding couple of sock monkeys. Only the friend of a friend wanted the monkeys to be wearing clothes like the actual bride and groom would be wearing. Could I help?

Hmmmmm. I had a little think about it, and then thought 'why not?' ... I would do my best anyway. So ... I was sent information on what, precisely the bride and groom would be wearing.

The groom would be wearing a kilt made from a very specific tartan: Lindsay tartan. Luckily, the lovely lady who wanted these monkeys managed to find me some of this tartan, so at least I didn't have to source it. We discussed other options and decided the monkey should just wear the kilt and a waistcoat, but also have a sporran. Thus my mother phoning me one evening only to be met with a phrase I never thought I'd utter: "I'm just knitting a sporran for a monkey". Anyway, here's the groom monkey:

Cotton socks from M&S in a turqoisey blue and palest grey stripe, with a single row of silver lurex here and there. Black felt waistcoat, kilt from tartan wool, sporran knitted from eyelash yarn, with some black felt, and 'chain' made from crocheted silver fingering. The buttons on the waistcoat are little crystal beads.

The bride was a more complicated challenge. I was sent a picture of the bride's actual gown:

Photos taken from here

And wanted to interpret it as best I could in a way that was suitable for a monkey. First I made the dress in plain white cotton percale, but that was just too plain and boring, so I overlaid that with a self-patterned white-on-white quilting cotton. I found a lace trim that I adapted to make the trim on the dress, and used a deep cerise quilting cotton for the inserts on the back. It was finished with a cerise ribbon:

Made from pink and pale grey cotton M&S socks, with the same silver lurex occasional thread as in the groom monkey socks. The lady who requested the monkeys was planning to make a tiara herself for the bride monkey, from wire and beads. I emailed her with the circumference of the bride monkey's head as soon as it was complete.

I was so worried that these two monkeys should be good enough to be given to a couple on their wedding day - it was such a tall order. But apparently they were delighted with their rather individual present. Phew.

Here's wishing them a long and happy marriage.

© Author

Mid May Mutterings ('09) (with Giveaway)

The middle of another month, and as usual I have all sorts of bits and pieces to note.

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It struck me that you haven't seen or heard anything of Herbie lately, have you? He is still his funny little self - complete with bald spot on his nose where he keeps nibbling the bars on his cage.

He's still baiting Georgie-cat too. I laughed out loud the other day when Herbie was in his ball, taking a little wander round the place whilst I cleaned out his cage. What's that you say? 'I thought Herbie belonged to your children, not you?!' Well yes, you would strictly be right on that point. However, their promises to look after him themselves, clean him out, etc. etc. etc. ... well, it just doesn't happen, so I think it fair to say that Herbie is now my pet at least as much as he is theirs. Now, what was I saying before you so rudely interrupted me? Oh yes, I laughed: Herbie was in his ball, wandering around and Georgie was watching him from behind the kitchen door. She was doing that crouching thing with a wiggly bum that cats do just before they pounce on something. Herbie rounded the door in his ball, Georgie's eyes went very black, her bum wiggled some more ... and then she ran away upstairs as fast as she could go. :-D

Soppy, dopey, lovely cat. She couldn't hunt to save her life (although this very morning she did bring me a lovely big fat juicy worm. After I'd put it back out in the garden she spent some time looking for it - even pulled the rug up with her nose to make sure he wasn't there. DOH!)

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I had reason to be very proud of No.1 earlier this month. Her form were studying the whole issue of portraiture in Art, and for their homework, their teacher asked them to pick an artist from a group of names, and to write about him and his work (they were all male artists). She (the teacher) also asked them to create their own version of a portrait by their chosen artist. No.1 chose to write about Pablo Picasso, and for the portrait, she chose 'Weeping Woman' which Picasso painted in 1937. Her finished version:

She spent ages on this project, using graphite and coloured pencils, and what a great result. I know I'm biased, but I think she has talent.

How irritating and discouraging for her then, that this piece of work came back from the teacher with not so much as a tick on it. No comment. No mark, nothing. I understand that a fair amount of homework is set, and that teachers have a lot to do but I think the lack of feedback on homework, is sometimes quite shocking. I shall be offering this opinion at parent's evening this week, I wonder what response(s) I'll get?

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On the subject of my offspring, this month a friend (the mother of a friend of No.2's) asked me what, precisely I was feeding him. Or was I just standing him in compost overnight several times a month? He is growing taller and taller, seemingly by the week. He has grown out of two sizes (meaning leg length) of school trousers since last September, and is now in a size 2 years older than his actual age. Which is why one afternoon of the early May Bank Holiday weekend, saw me turning old school trousers, jeans and other trousers, into shorts for him for this summer.

I always thought he'd be tall - I remember at his scan (at about 19 weeks of pregnancy - that's my pregnancy, not his. He hasn't been pregnant. That I know of), the radiographer noting that No.2's thighbone was on the 98th percentile of the growth charts. My dad was a tall man (over 6 ft), my brother is even taller. I wonder how tall No.2 will get before he stops growing? I am currently saving up to get him a new bike as his old one looks a bit silly now.

All that growing isn't, of course, affecting his obsession with sport. This week he was awarded this medal:

By his coach at after-school football club. He got it for not missing a single training session all season, and is very proud indeed. I am proud too - well done No.2!

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I now have to thank Anne at Fabric and Bags for this 'Comments' award. Thanks Anne - x - it's a sheer pleasure to comment on your blog, you make such fabulous 'stuff' - I'm glad I found you! For those of you who don't know Anne's blog - it does what it says on the can: there is fabric, and there are bags (amongst other things of course).

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I need to thank the fabulous Dawn at Twisted Sister for this 'Honest Scrap' award - thank you Dawn - x. Do you know Dawn? She was one of my first blogging buddies, and a lovely person to boot. This award comes with the proviso that one must tell 10 things about oneself that readers may not know. I've done these before, but hey ... there's always more weird stuff about me I can tell!:

1. My eyes are a disgusting greeny-hazel-brown colour
2. I have never been fishing
3. Astrologically speaking, I have a Capricorn Ascendant
4. My favourite flowers are Cornflowers
5. I used to play the Tenor Recorder in the school orchestra
6. I am left handed, although I operate a mouse with my right hand, I play Wii Sports with my right hand, and I eat right-handed.
7. I was very sporty at school, representing the school at Netball, Tennis, Swimming and Athletics (only in the 4 x 100 relay)
8. I am allergic to peanuts
9. The only soap opera I watch is Coronation Street
10. My ancestry is definitely English and Irish, but possibly also German and/or Scandinavian (I need to do some more work on family history to follow up some 'leads' - haven't done any for yonks).

There you go ... a whole raft of evidence to support the fact that, to quote Gloria Gaynor, I am what I am ... my own special creation.

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Another award came my way from the admirable Trish at Menopausal Stoners. Thanks Trish - x. For those of you who don't know Trish's blog, you are missing a treat. She writes with such intelligence and insight, not to mention wit and humour. And she is my role model for stepping back into the world of relationships - which translates as 'I'm not going to, but I thoroughly enjoy watching Trish do it'. Anyway, this award is the 'Bella Award', and the rules state I am to forward it on to another 15 blogs. Erm ... firstly, how the hell can I choose 15 from the billion I read and follow, and secondly, I would get RLI (Repetitive Link Injury) from such an activity. So I'm going to be a teeny bit rebellious and pass it on to those blogs in my sidebar who would like to add it to their collection; I'm sure there might be 15 of those.

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I was on the receiving end of a bit of fabric-flavoured good fortune early this month. One of Mum's quilting friends is having a large de-stash, and wondered if some of her fabric would be any good for bag-making? She sent over a mahoosive tub of the stuff!

Click to embiggen

There are some beautiful prints here, and some of these fabrics are in large pieces. Quite frankly, there is way too much for me to either use, or to fit into my stash. So ... let's have a little impromptu giveaway shall we?

If you would like to be up for a share of the above, just say so in your comment. No, let's make it a bit more fun - I'm feeling frivolous. Please type the word 'DISCOMBOBULATED' in your comment to get an entry in the giveaway. No discombobuthingy in your comment = no entry in the giveaway. So there.

These fabrics are not finest quilting cotton, although one or two are. Some of it is linen, some of it is cotton, there is some cord, some canvas, some upholstery weight stuff, and there is some mixed fibre fabric. Please don't be getting difficult on me: There is no picking and choosing which bits you do or don't want - I will simply cut the pieces of fabric in half (except for 2 which are very small anyway) and send you the resulting 'lot' (which will be quite a hefty pile).

I will leave the giveaway open for a week - drawing the winner's name on Friday 22nd May, and I am happy to send overseas, so don't worry about postage. Come on you crafty types - and crafty lurkers, let's see the discombobulation fly off your keyboard.

EDITED TO ADD: THE GIVEAWAY IS NOW CLOSED - THANKS TO ALL THOSE WHO ENTERED

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I'll leave you with a cheerful photo - at least I think it is. It's ok for summer to start anytime it likes from here on ... I've been out and bought me some cheapy Philippe Phelops¹, now I just need the sunshine! The fact that now I've bought them, the weather has turned cold and wet is just a coincidence. I hope.

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¹ Philippe Phelops = Flip Flops.

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Lovely Stuff From Lovely Bloggers

The great thing about being a crafty person interested in crafty blogs, is that you get to be inspired. You see *stuff* going on that ignites a little flame of enthusiasm, and if you're lucky, that flame sits patiently on the back burner until you're ready to tackle whatever ignited it in the first place. Of course crafty bloggers make crafty stuff, and via giveaways it is possible to acquire said crafty stuff. Even if there isn't a giveaway going down, it is often possible to acquire lovely stuff via exchange of pounds and pence: blogs can be wonderful windows, against which the likes of me press my nose to get a better view of the desirables within.

Recently(ish) (actually some of this stuff isn't recent at all - I am soooooo behind with my thank yous) I have taken delivery of some lovely stuff, like this bag I won from Kim at Brigantia Designs. She makes bags like I wish I could make bags - such lovely fabrics, shapes and designs. Anyway ... a parcel arrived recently, and look what was inside:

Isn't it fab? I have examined it very closely and confirm it is beautifully made. I have admired Kim's bags for a good while, so to win one was brilliant. I must confess I didn't actually realise I was entering any sort of competition. Kim merely asked for funny jokes which would make her kids laugh, and we have lots of funnies here. I chose to share with her the favourite of the moment:

Knock Knock

Who's There?

Dunnup

.... And so on in traditional knock-knock manner (it helps if you say it out loud)

It turned out her kids liked my kids' joke, and because of that, I won that bag. I reckon I got the best end of that deal, by a mile. Kim now gets her kids embarrassing her by telling that joke in public (in loud voices) and I get a bag. It's not rocket science, is it? Thanks Kim - x - I love the bag, and I'm really pleased your kids loved the joke. I am using this bag at the moment, and can't tell you the number of people who have commented on it.

More bloggy-peeps gorgeousness has landed here in the shape of this set of bracelet and earrings by Helen - The Beading Lady:

Sometimes beads which are white can look somehow cheap and plastic, but I love the way these white beads are marbled with grey. They look really pretty. Thank you Helen - x - they're great, and I'm sure they're going to get a lot of wear this summer (always assuming we have weather warm enough to warrant wearing white!) although having said that, I've already worn them during the sunny end of April we had.

Many of you will know Miss Jodie. She lives life on the (selv)edge, and is not merely a crafter but an artist. An artist, I tell you! Anyone who can make that dress, and that chair cover, along with all the other brilliant things she makes, is more than a humble crafter. I recently bought from her these patterns:

And fully intend to make at least one of each, and very probably many more. I have in my mind's eye some quite 'grown up' versions of these Kinder Kids as I think they could appeal to the more mature children amongst us. Thank you Jodie - x - and for tucking a pack of your wonderful cards in with the parcel.

Another pair of crafty things I bought were these handmade earrings:

(They proved quite difficult to photograph). I already had that bracelet on the left of the picture, so when I saw Tracy of Pink Purl had these earrings listed in her Etsy shop, I was over the moon. Were they made to complement that bracelet, or what?! Thank you Tracy - x - they are so pretty.

And finally - for now, I bought one of Kellie's wonderful patterns:

(Picture stolen from Kellie's blog)

This is for 4 pillows/cushions, but I'm not sure I'll actually use the patterns for cushions. I want to make an appliqué picture for No.1's bedroom, and she particularly likes Kellie's stuff, so think I'll use one of these patterns as my inspiration. For those of you who don't know Kellie's blog - she is an amazingly talented quilter; her raw edge appliqué quilts are highly original, colourful and frankly stunning. Oh, and she makes sock monkeys too!

A big thank you to each and every one of the above crafty ladies, and to all the other crafty bloggers I read. You inspire me, you amaze me and I enjoy enormously viewing the many and varied projects on which you work. xx

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Georgie-Cat

I do love our cat. She has such a sweet nature, but is also intelligent, mischievous and endlessly curious. As well as a greedy guts. It's not often she will stay still long enough to let me photograph her, but this week she did - hence this photographical homage to Georgie (who is named thus because she was born on St George's Day (2005)).

Sometimes, it is extremely easy to see how the domestic cat is related to big cats, isn't it? Georgie, like most cats, is often alert - her eyes watching, not missing a trick:

Her nose is ever ready to detect the scents of the house, of the garden and of anyone who visits. She can also sniff out mischief, or a box in which to sit, from a fair way away. How does she know, from upstairs, when I get a tin of tuna out of the cupboard? That nose of hers is very, very clever:

She's always had enormous feet. When she was a kitten, they looked so incongruous with her little fluffy body. Even now she's an adult, there's no getting away from her likeness to Bigfoot:

If you should make the mistake of doing something which displeases her Majesty ... she has a 'look' which leaves you in no doubt whatsoever that you're not her favourite person at that moment in time:

But at other times, she is playfully flirty, obviously happy, and so very pretty. She loves company, and when I was recently poorly with that tummy bug and spent a day in bed, she was practically grinning all over her face. A person with whom to share the bed is her idea of bliss. She likes to relax by lying on her back with her legs in the air. Big tart:

When the sun streams through the french doors in the afternoons, the rays falling onto one of the sofas, she just can't resist jumping up there for the teeniest little sunbathe:

But that darned sun - it always has the same effect! It seems to make it difficult for her to keep her eyelids up. The blinks get bigger and bigger, slower and slower...

Until those eyelids become far too heavy to keep open. And a peaceful, snoozy session ensues; often with occasional twitches and contented sighs:

I wonder what you dream, our gorgeous Georgie girl?

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Stats & The Bloggy Bits

I think most blogs out there have some kind of 'statistical' software embedded somewhere in their code. I didn't have a clue about stats until a blogging friend told me about it, and pointed me in the direction of Statcounter. I signed up, copied the html into my blog sidebar, and have been quietly fascinated - and confused - ever since.

Not only does the software log the number of visits to the Bloggy Bits, but tells me (roughly) where they come from, as well as lots of other bits of extraneous information. For instance, by far the greatest number of visitors over the last few days had no referring link. Which means they just 'knew' the address, or have it in their favourites. Apparently, a fair few came after looking on Google images for a picture of Cristiano Ronaldo. This is utterly depressing to me - of all the things people could come looking for! A large percentage of visitors land here after clicking on my Blogger profile, so I guess they've seen me putting it about on other blogs? ;-)

A humungous 89.2% of those landing here have searched using Google as their search engine. The other 10.8% have either used AOL or AOL UK. Most of those coming 'in' to the blog do so on the front page, and most of those leaving the blog leave from that same front page. The majority of readers use Internet Explorer(7) as their browser, the next largest group uses Firefox, the next after that uses IE(6), then come the Safari users (presumably on their Macs?) The stats will also tell me what Operating System any readers have. I'm sure to someone who knew what to do with them, all these things would mean something much more than they do to me.

According to Statcounter, most of my visitors are from the UK, followed in order by the US, Canada, The Netherlands, Australia, Bulgaria (Gosh - hello to any Bulgarian readers, I had no idea!), Romania, Norway, Denmark, New Zealand ... etc. I have had only one visitor from the Sudan, Slovenia, Bhutan, Sri Lanka, Latvia, Poland, Pakistan, Croatia, Kuwait and Japan. Perhaps they're the ones who were looking for stuff about that slightly slimy striker who dives a lot Cristiano Ronaldo?

I think it's clear that most of my visitors come here by accident, having searched for something, but then must have been disappointed that what they wanted was not, actually, here. Yes folks, it's time to look once more at the search terms various people landing here have typed on their computers. As always, it never ceases to amaze me:

Men's nipples are always 11 apart (This whole mens nipples thing started because I once posted that it is a generality that most mens nipples are a certain distance apart. I can't even remember how big or small that distance is now - 9" or 11" ... something like that (Edited to add, it's 9, not 11). I was merely repeating what my forum friend Norma Snockers had said. Anyway, ever since that day, I have regularly received traffic based on searches about mens nipples. Which, I guess, is better than the traffic poor L gets at Family Affairs, as a result of searches for 'hairy nipples' [I loved that post of hers] ).

My kitty sneezes strings of snot, what can I do? (Aside from keeping a box of tissues close at hand, I'd say a trip to the vet was in order?)

Horniest Gerrard pics (Now call me strange (I'm sure plenty of people do), but I cannot for the life of me imagine that ANYONE could find Steven Gerrard 'horny'. Doesn't he look about as wholesome as a lad could look?)

Great gerbil of Kaz (Kaz ... have you got a furry thing you need to tell us about?)

Smutty bits in Disney (If there are any, I've yet to see them, but I'm willing to be educated on the matter. As an admirer of both smut and Disney, a combination of the two would surely be right up my street?)

I have 3 nipples - is this normal? (You are a descendant of Francisco Scaramanga, and I claim my £5)

How to make a creative 3d plant cell model with items from around the house (Aha, that old chestnut ... been there, done that! Or rather No.1's done that, and I blogged about it)

Herbie the Hamster's Blog (It really does exist! Not OUR Herbie, but a different Herbie. He has his own blog here. This Herbie is also an escapologist - perhaps it's the name?!)

Nosey Kitty ( :-O Well yes, I am ... but there's no need to put it all over the interweb!)

Widow Twanky the slut (Oh how I laughed at that. For what, could this person have been searching?)

Smutty humour (Guilty as charged, your Honour)

Pictures of Douglas from the Lurpak advert (Gosh, I don't think I've seen an ad featuring Douglas for the longest time - click here for a reminder of the cute little yellow chap)

Trying to be cheerful while married to a cheater (Awww, bless you, it can't be easy. Can you not extricate yourself from the marriage? I'm sure you deserve better than that.)

Cristiano Ronaldo high heels (How very excellent - I never knew he wore them, but I kind of suspected ;-) Oh damn, this is going to get me more Ronaldo-seekers, isn't it?)

Victor Borge's Letter of Complaint About his Roof (I have no idea what this is about. I know my dad used to laugh at Victor Borge though, so I googled the matter. Didn't find a single thing about it. If anyone reading can enlighten me, please feel free.)

What's the most comfortable position for snogging someone? (Listen sunbeam, just consider yourself blessed to have an opportunity to snog at all, let alone worry about the best position for same. Some of us aren't so fortunate! Having said that, face-to-face seems like a good option - tilt your heads slightly to the side - not both to the same side though - and go for it. You lucky sod.)

Norma Snockers (I do get more people landing here looking for things to do with 'knockers', 'breasts', 'boobs', etc. since I posted about the large pink breasts I knitted. And at Flickr I have quite a few more views for my picture entitled 'Dangly Boobs' (which is the one of them hanging from the car's rearview mirror') than for any of my sock monkey photos. Tsk). Norma Snockers is also the name of a forum member at DS - one whom I count as a friend. Affectionately knowns as 'Normas', I'm not sure whether or not she reads the blog, but if she does ... hello Normas! Nice wellies and gorgeous awnings ;-) )

Gareth Barry's Hairless Body (:-O Does the Villa left back have a hairless body?! I had no idea! Don't do it Gareth - it'll be sapping your strength, pet: Liverpool might not want to buy you anymore!)

Pictures of bums in an attic (WHY on earth would someone want to see pictures of bums in an attic? I really don't see the attraction, but there you go. No bums in an attic here. Move along.)

So there we are - a little statistical snapshot of the kind of weirdos various people who land at my Bloggy Bits. I'm very pleased to see you, whoever you are. I'm sorry this blog almost certainly doesn't provide you with exactly what you were seeking, but hey ... you've probably just given me more blog fodder for the future, so thank you for that.

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