January Round Up

Here we are again then ... the end of another month. I didn't particularly enjoy January 2009 - perhaps the expectations I had of it were too high? It seems that so many people I know have had a tough month: It's been grey and cold and just generally miserable. I'm hoping February shapes up a whole lot better.

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We have had some snow this month - not a huge amount, but enough to make a few snowballs, which is what matters to the kids. Not enough for a snowman though (No.2 and I still fondly remember our last snowman - whom he named 'Ted'). Georgie cat decided she wanted to go out and investigate this latest sprinkling:

She took approximately 10 steps before her expression changed; it clearly read 'b*gger this for a lark'. She turned round, came back in, and didn't venture out again until the white stuff had all gone. The weather forecasters are saying we're due plenty more snow this coming week - so fingers crossed there is enough for a snowman.

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A funny thing happened at the start of the month. I was driving through town, and stopped at a pedestrian crossing. Over to my right I noticed a man with a camera on his shoulder, and 2 people in front of him. 'Oh look!' I thought 'there's a man with a camera on his shoulder - I wonder what he's doing?' Anyway, the lights changed from red to flashing amber, so I drove on my way.

However, watching the local news that evening I was aghast to see a snippet about an act of vandalism in the town ... and a video report of little interviews with local people about the damage. In one shot, there were a couple talking and in the background .... oh God, a woman in a Toyota, stopped at the pedestrian crossing. She was looking straight at the camera, the gormless look on her face reading 'Oh look! There's a man with a camera on his shoulder - I wonder what he's doing?'

It was me! On the telly! *Note to self: Please learn to drive/live with much less gormless look on face - it looks utterly ridiculous'.

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Last month I recorded my sadness at the death of Oliver Postgate. This month, I was terribly sad to hear of the death of another TV legend from my childhood: Tony Hart. Is anyone other than me old enough to remember 'Vision On'? A programme for deaf children, which heavily featured art. I'm sure it's not just arty-farty types like me who remember him fondly, or other programmes such as 'Take Hart', and 'Hartbeat'. He was in there at the start of 'SMart' too wasn't he? A modern kids programme that I still enjoy watching. The man had an amazing talent, and the programmes in which he featured were always ... classy.

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I cannot begin to describe how shocked and upset I felt when I learned this month of the death of Govinder Nazran, an artist whose work I have long admired (I have a few of his prints hanging throughout our home). It is awful that a man with so much talent died so young (he was 44, when he died on 30th December 2008. I have read conflicting reports on the cause of his death, from his having an accident, to his suffering a seizure). I am incredibly sad to know that there will be no more of his wonderful paintings or sculptures.

'The Wise' by Govinder

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I now need to thank Tawny for this Sisterhood Award, which is supposed to be passed on to 10 fellow blogging sisters who have attitude. Well I think all the women in my sidebar have 'attitude', so ladies - if you're there, consider yourself awarded. Speaking of my sidebar, I must update it - I've discovered more fabulous blogs, so will soon be adding those to the appropriate section. Thank you Tawny - x - I really appreciate it.

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More thanks are due to Helen at The Beading Lady who gave me these pretty 'Kreativ' awards. Thank you so much Helen - x. I'm supposed to pass them on to fellow 'kreativ' types, but honestly, how can I choose from the eleventy billion kreativ bloggers I read, admire, and by whom I am constantly inspired. I always knew there were clever, talented, artistic people 'out there' but seriously, the crafty bloggers I've discovered since I started blogging are so on my wavelength - it's an absolute joy to know I'm not the only one who enjoys piddling about with bits of fabric, yarn, beads, thread and buttons. I can't pass these awards on to one or two people, sorry Helen, but I just can't - I hereby pass them on to every crafty blog on which I've commented. I can't tell you all how glad I am to have discovered your blogs - keep up the fantastic work.

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I had another one of those chats with No.2 recently:

Him: "Mum ... can I ask you something?"

Me: "Yes, of course sweetie"

Him: "I want to know if something is true or not"

Me: "OK ... ask away, but can I just ask who told you about it in the first place?"

Him: "A" (One of his closest friends) ... "He said his mum told him"

Me: "Right ... what is it?"

Him: "Is it true that people can still fart once they're dead?"

Me: :-O

I laughed. Then I said I had absolutely no idea. But I'm so pleased that these sorts of conversations happen in other people's houses as well as ours. Here is a prime example of precisely how useful the internet can be. I googled the matter, and found a whole page of 'Fart Facts' (if you, dear reader, are the proud owner of a small boy, I'm sure he'll find that link both fascinating and highly amusing). According to that page, A's mum is absolutely right! Well - you live and learn, eh?

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And on that somewhat gaseous note, I shall love and leave you until next time - although after that last paragraph I have an urge to give the blog a quick squirt of Oust before I go.

© Author

Oh Bums!

'Oh Bums!' is an expression of frustration which I don't mind the kids overhearing. When you have small people, you have to adopt new forms of verbal outburst appropriate to their delicate ears, and that has been one of mine eversince No.1 was teeny. I have been using it quite a lot lately, because something crafty just wouldn't go right.

Hopping through the Blogosphere (like you do) has shown me so many wonderful and inspiring creations from fellow crafty types. I have a folder in my favourites entitled 'Crafty Bits': Within that folder are - I've just counted - the links to 84 craft projects and tutorials which have caught my eye. I had no idea there were quite that many, I shall have to give them a judicious pruning at some point. The trouble is, I see the pictures and think 'oh wow - I want to make/have one of those!' Even though I've already got more than I'll ever have time to complete, I still wander sites such as One Pretty Thing, Craftzine, and Whip Up! every single day, saving anything that takes my fancy. A habit to break, perhaps?

Anyway, one of the things that has caught my eye over the past 'x' months are the scrumptious crocheted ripple afghans/blankets I've seen. This one from Mrs Moogs. This one from Lucy Locket-Pocket. This one from Gina, and many, many more. I'm not a very competent crochet-er/ist in fact I only know how to 'do' one stitch, but those blankets caught my eye. I thought it would be nice to have a little project to work on whilst watching tv, so I went out surfing the web for a tutorial I could actually understand. I found one at Crochetcabana.com and duly saved it to my 'Crafty Bits' folder.

Instead of just leaving it there, I attempted to actually 'do' it. I managed to find my 2 crochet hooks (one is big, one is small) and grabbed an old ball of hideous white acrylic stuff from my stash with which to practice. Eventually, after about 4 goes at it, I ended up with this:

Which looks like the manky bit of white crocheting it is. However, I felt I was going in the right direction. Next it was time to try some stripes of colour:

Hmmm, aside from the washed out colours, and the fact that the green yarn was 'fluffy' and therefore not at all the look I wanted, it's almost 'there'. (Blogger is doing that weird thing and turning my picture round again - it's so annoying). The stitches were a bit too 'open' looking for my liking, so I went and bought a middle-sized crochet hook, and then set to work with some slightly more respectable yarn (still not the posh stuff though - posh stuff is wasted on me):

I don't know precisely why but I just don't like it. I don't know if it's the colours I've used, or what, but ... it's not working for me. At all. So ... it's been frogged. The idea was to make a blanket for Mum - a long term project for me with an eye to next Christmas. Mum can sew, and she can knit, but she can't crochet, so I thought it'd be something she'd really like. I still think it's something she might like, so I guess I could still attempt a crocheted blanket of some sort, but it's not going to be a ripple. Doesn't always go according to plan in the crafting world, does it? *sigh* :-(

I feel a bit of a failure, but at least I tried something I haven't tried before, and I'm a teeny bit pleased that I even managed to work out how to do it. I've since been playing with some more crochet - I don't know how to read crochet-ese, so just make it up as I go along. Of all the little bits with which I've experimented, I think these aren't too bad:

Would lots and lots of them all sewn together be fairly funky? Or just old lady-ish? I shall ponder on it and see if I still like them in a weeks' time, but I fear I am rapidly coming to the conclusion that I am not a crocheted blanket kind of girl. I may still do Mum some crocheted cushion covers or something, but for now I think I should probably concentrate on monkeys.

And I was so looking forward to being a hooker.

© Author

Sleeping Beauty

I have been meaning to blog this for ages, and have finally made myself sit down and do it. We all had such good time when we went to see 'Aladdin' last year, that I booked tickets again to see this year's panto at the Oxford Playhouse, which was Sleeping Beauty (the run finished last weekend). However, No.2 decided it was going to be "a girl's thing" and said he didn't want to come. I overheard him discussing it with one of his pals from school. The pal (most unhelpfully) said he wouldn't go to see it either, and that it would definitely be horribly girlie - and there might even be *shock, horror* ... KISSING! Tsk. So ... No.2 went to his dad's for the evening, whilst No.1 joined Mum, my brother and me for an evening out at the theatre.

As with last year's production, this one was written and directed by Peter Duncan (he of Blue Peter fame), and a couple of 'bits' from last year were in this year's show. Lazy writing, or just the experience that those bits go down well with the audience, I wonder? Although we had seats right at the back of the circle, the view was excellent. We went fairly early on in the run and at times the sound was a bit dodgy, but presumably they got that sorted.

Our favourite characters this time, were the King and Queen (Sleeping Beauty's parents), and the panto 'baddie' - in this case the 'wicked fairy' called Carmella Crabstick. The leading lady (Sleeping Beauty) was ok, but she didn't grab us like the three characters I've mentioned.

The Dame this year was played by Stephen Aintree. My personal opinion is that he didn't match up to last year's Dame, but that's an adult view. No.1 said she loved him and can still remember lots of his lines and funny bits. He did take part in some fun slapstick moments with a character called 'Miffins' (played by Robin Armstrong) who was a sort of Buttons-type figure in the whole play: hopelessly in love with the Princess, but as a commoner not in with a chance of winning her hand.

The King was played by Richard Stacey. He was wonderful, and the double act he formed with the Queen was splendid - they clearly enjoyed themselves enormously. A quick scoot around the web tells me that he is 6'2", that his natural accent is geordie, he is a tennis teacher, a qualified TEFL person, is fluent in french and a proficient snow boarder. Gosh - what a talented chap. Apparently he lives in Oxford, so it was a home gig for him. He was very funny, and made a splendid buffoon of the king. He misquoted Shakespeare a lot, and aspired to be a rock singer, so there were lots of silly quips on that score (no pun intended).

The Queen was played by Abi Finley, who many in the UK might know as being a semi-finalist in 'How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?' (a show featuring Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber in his search to find a star for his stage production of The Sound of Music). She didn't reach the finals, but was apparently snapped up by Sir Tim Rice to play in his show Blondel. Anyway, she was absolutely brilliant as the dippy Queen in this production, and was my own personal favourite of the entire show. I didn't watch the 'Maria' TV programme, so I'd never heard of her before, but I thought her ultra talented, and extremely funny. This was apparently her very first panto - I hope she does loads more as her comedy skills and timing were just right.

The most dramatic performance was from Carrie Ellis who played the wicked fairy Carmella Crabstick. The green make up plastered all over her made her instantly recognisable to the kids in the audience as 'the baddie' and we all booed and hissed every time she appeared. It was she who had the most 'adult' lines in the production, making jokes about the likes of Peter Mandelson which, of course, went right over the heads of the children. In the row in front of us, there was a man who took great delight in heckling loudly in egging Carmella on to ever more evil doings - when everyone else was shouting 'don't touch it!' as she urged the Princess Beauty to touch the needle on the spinning wheel:

He was shouting 'go on ... touch it! Give it a good whack!' I think we found him just as funny as the panto. When the Prince was trying to make his way to reach Sleeping Beauty, nasty old Carmella turned herself into a dragon:

This was a fantastic sight, and I'm really sad that No.2 missed out on seeing it, because he would have loved it - as he would the rest of the show. He'd have especially loved the ensemble rendition of 'I am The Music Man' which required us, the audience, to look under our seats and play the party tooters we found there. In fact the only bit he wouldn't have liked was when the Prince kissed Sleeping Beauty to wake her at the end, and he could have covered his eyes for that, couldn't he?

Next year they are staging 'Jack & The Beanstalk' ... hopefully that won't have a hint of girliness and he will be keen to go.

© Author

Mid-Month Mutterings (Jan '09)

The end of month round ups I do are, I have decided, getting way too 'big'. You must be exhausted from reading them. So, in months when there are lots of extraneous bits and pieces, I shall gather up some of the said bits and pieces and do a middle of the month 'bitty' post as well as an end of month one. Hope you don't mind.

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I received a tag from Greedy Nan the other day. She has asked me to list 6 random things about myself. I've done this kind of tag at least a couple of times before and yet there are still a zillion more random things I could tell. I am giving you 6 physical facts about me - here we go:

1. My belly button is an 'inny' rather than an 'outy'.
2. That same belly button bears 3 tiny little scars from 3 laparoscopy operations in the past.
3. I have the most horrible knees in the country. No, make that the continent. In fact if there were inter-planetary contests for ugly knees, I might win a medal for Earth.
4. I have pathetically teeny wrists. They are, quite frankly, an embarrassment to a grown woman.
5. I take a Size 4 in shoes (37 in 'Euro speak')
6. I have extraordinarily short little fingers - that's to say my 5th 'baby' finger is very short (although I have fairly small hands anyway). I once knew a guy who professed to be into palmistry. He announced those tiny little fingers told him I was a closet lesbian. Hmmmmm. I do wonder if he was, perhaps, a little pi$$ed off that I had declined his advances. ;-)

There you go then Nan - I hope that was ok? I'm not going to name names for this, but if anyone reading wants to 'have a go' please feel free.

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I need to thank Burby for this lovely 'Blog Friends' award. I think it pretty much does what it says on the can. Thank you Burby - x - I really appreciate it. I think I'm supposed to pass it on to others so will send it on it's way to the following who are lovely friendly people, all quick to extend their friendship via email as well as via our blogs: Katy, Meggie, Sal, Andrea, Julia (MK), WMK, Ali, Maria, Kellie, Blossom, Jodie, Mal Intent, Anne, Twiggy, Kaz, Lucy, Tracy, Joanna, Jill, Trashy, Jackie, Elaine, Lesley, Peri, Suzy, Lily, Suzie, Jane, Gina, Dawn, DC, Gigibird, Julia (PC), Sas, and Emma-Pebble. Do what you will with it ladies - display it if you want to, don't if you don't. x

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Now I want to thank Emma at Bagladee for this 'Your Blog is Fabulous' award - thank you Emma, that's quite a compliment - x. (If you don't know Emma's blog - check it out - such lovely bags! I have bag-maker's envy. Not to mention the envy I feel that her OH is turning their loft into a studio for her as a birthday present!)

There is a bit of a meme thing going on with this award: I have to list 5 things to which I am addicted. Hmmmm, only 5? :-O

Leaving aside specific people, who are indescribably dear to me and therefore whose presence I find addictive:

1. Communication.
   
   Without it I am utterly miserable. It wasn't until well into adulthood that I twigged that I need plenty of communication for me to feel 'whole'. I don't know if that makes me what is termed a 'people person'. I do like my own company, but not for great long stretches at a time. Where my closest friends are concerned, I am in frequent contact and miss them horribly if we don't catch up regularly. I have always been one to 'keep in touch'. I guess the wide term 'communication' also covers 'education' and that's something else to which I'm addicted - learning.
2. The internet.
   
   I have only been a surfer of the World Wide Web for around 9 or 10 years, but I now cannot imagine being without that link to the rest of the world, or the vast reservoirs of knowledge 'out there'. I was always the pain-in-the-butt-person who wanted to know about the 'how?', the 'why?', the 'where?', the 'who?' and the 'when?' I used to find out from books, and I still do to some extent, but I LOVE the interweb (not least because of the many fabulous people I have 'met' through it.)
3. Music.
   
   Not a day passes when I don't listen to it. Sometimes it's a background presence, sometimes I do nothing else but wallow in the sound and let it carry me away somewhere. Lyrics are often better than poetry to me, just because they are coupled with music.
4. Nature.
   
   I think most of us crafty types have an eye for colour, and the colours in nature are about as fabulous as it's possible to get. The Autumn colours of 2008 were so stunning - the children got quite sick of me oohing and aahhhing and saying 'gosh, look at that tree!' But more than the colours; the detail, the patterns and all round 'amazingness' of nature is sometimes quite overwhelming. I love that we get different seasons in the UK - I know I'd be a bit bored if the weather were the same all year round. If I lived near the sea, I'm sure I'd be even more blown away by Nature.
5. Creativity.
   
   What can I tell you? It is almost as essential to me as breathing. Not quite, but almost. I can't imagine a life without 'making' featuring in it somehow or another. There are various ways to be creative, so crafting is not the be-all and end-all, but it's what hits the spot for me. Some people make music, some paint, some write, some work with kids (which is both hard work and creative), some cook ... the list goes on.

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Thinking about addictions leads me to make mention that at the start of this month, Channel 4 aired a programme called 'Surviving Gazza' which focussed on the family of Paul Gascoigne and their attempt at 'helping' him with his problems. As regular readers know, I am a big fan of the beautiful game, and watching Gazza playing football was a wonderful sight. He always seemed a bit of a daft lad, but one with a sublime talent for the sport (especially before the cruciate ligament injury). I won't ever forget the Euro '96 tournament, and that goal he scored in the match against Scotland - brilliant!

I recorded the documentary, but didn't get round to watching it until last week. It made me feel so many things. For a start, was there ever a more glaring example that money doesn't buy happiness? Although in their misery, I guess it helps that the family doesn't have to worry about money. But my goodness ... the next time I indulge in worry over how much of an insecure or inadequate person I am, I shall try to remember that programme. I can't imagine how horrible it must be to be that tortured: why is he like it? How did it happen? Such a sad story; a waste of potential and spirit (no pun intended), and a whole family of heads well and truly messed up. :-(

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Now you see - if I'd tried to stick that lot in the January round up, it would have been even biggerer. My verbal/mental diarrhoea is bad enough, without advertising the fact on the interweb.

© Author

More Monkeying

I have a few more monkeys to show you; they were made over the last few weeks (going back to November 2008), and have now flown the Wrinkle nest to go and live in new homes.

First up we have this little lady:

Who was a birthday gift for No.1's friend 'J' and has been named Lily Monkey. She is wearing a cerise shift dress (my first go at one of those, but I think I like it) trimmed with pink and white gingham ribbon. She looks a bit 'chunky' in the picture, but she wasn't really. It must be true what they say about the camera adding 10lbs to you, eh? ;-)

The girl who now owns Lily had an ice skating trip for her birthday - No.1 thoroughly enjoyed it, especially the 'disco' bit in the middle of the evening. She got back at around 11pm - I was really tired and could quite happily have gone to bed earlier. My first time waiting up for my daughter - a bit of a rite of passage I suspect?!

The next monkey to head out of here was this little girly one:

She has been named 'Boo Boo' by her new toddler-owner and is apparently very much loved. She was requested by one of mum's friends - the little girl who now owns Boo Boo is her granddaughter. This lady has been a fantastic friend to mum since my dad died - she is one of the world's 'nice people', and it was a pleasure to make something for her.

The next monkey to leave was this little chap:

Made for the small son of a friend of my brother. The 'friend' is actually his boss, and the monkey was deliberately made in the 'company colours'. I asked what he had been named (the monkey, not the small son) but apparently the parents are keen for the boy to name it himself, and as he can't yet talk ... erm, well, you see my problem.

Both this one and Boo Boo above were made from the softest tiddler socks from Woolworths. I have never, ever seen them anywhere else (and believe me, I've looked and surfed and browsed) so I guess in future I won't be able to make too many more of these. I have about 3 pairs of socks made out of this stuff left in my stash.

Speaking of stash, (and going off at a tangent) Mum is currently collecting fabric for a quilt to be made with 1930s reproduction fabrics - in fairly pastel tones. We had a mooch round on Etsy and found some lovely fabrics, but the seller was in the US and not willing to ship abroad. Joanna kindly offered to purchase the fabric for me and send it over herself, which I thought we would have to do, but then I found some on eBay. Again, from an American seller, but one who was willing to ship here. Look at these lovelies:

Purchased from this seller. A friendly, efficient fabric person - go and visit her, I recommend her. I'd link to the lady at Etsy with the lovely fabrics, but her reply to my enquiry about shipping to the UK wasn't terribly friendly, therefore I'm not giving her any link love. So there. I have to say, the price of good quality fabric in this country is pretty high in comparison to the US. It's a sorry state of affairs when it's cheaper to buy it from there and get it shipped here, than to buy from here in the first place; but the range of 1930s repro prints we found on sale from UK sellers wasn't nearly as good as that from US sellers. It's ecologically unsound to get stuff shipped across the planet, and I do feel bad about that.

The quilt mum is making with the 1930s prints is going to be for No.1, so I'll be sure to show you when it's finished. I'm sure it'll be fabulous.

I have a final monkey offering to show you. May I introduce Princess Pain-in-the-Pants:

She is thus named because the making of her was a painful process. First I made her a sort of silver, sparkly dress, with a lurexy-stripey skirt and puffed sleeves. But every time I looked at it I hated it more and more: It was no good, it had to go. So it got cut off her. I much prefer the pink and silver combo (with princessy embellisments) she has now. I originally tried to sew a bought plastic crown/tiara thing on her too - but during the sewing process it snapped. I might have said some very bad words. Very. Lots of them. So that too got cut off, and I made a felt one, sewed on sequins and braid and ended up much happier with that too. She was made for a friend of a friend, who requested 'a pink princess monkey' - I think that's what she got.

© Author

The O2 Saga

In my November round up post, I noted how efficient and helpful British Gas had been. Well, I'd like to note my recent dealings with another big company: O₂. Unfortunately, it didn't go as smoothly as my experience with British Gas.

Do you remember my post from early last year when I talked about getting a new mobile phone? A lovely phone, a great deal, all was fine on that front (apart from the lousy reception in parts of this house). But one day in late October, I got my nice Samsung U600 from my bag to send a text, and what did I find? The screen was black - not a flat black, but a sort of 'glowy' black. The touch buttons were lit up bright white - they're not normally lit up at all. Hmmm. I tried to use it but it didn't want to play. I took the battery out, put it back in again ... nothing. I put it on charge - the bright white light just got a bit brighter. The screen remained black. Oh dear: The lights were on, but there was definitely no telephonic features at home.

I called O₂ - the first person to whom I spoke suggested I took it to an O₂ shop. There isn't one anywhere near where I live, and I didn't get the phone from an O₂ shop in the first place. The next person to whom I spoke asked me to return the phone to a specific address, which I did. A week later I got a call to say it was deader than a dead thing, and they couldn't offer me a 'like for like' replacement since they had no more U600s. I was given the choice of 3 other phones: I knew nothing about any of them, so googled a bit, which just resulted in my getting even more confused. I went into our local Carphone Warehouse where I spoke to a very helpful chap. He told me (in his professional opinion) not to touch one choice as it was always being returned to them, that another choice was a good solid phone; and that the third choice was 'great fun'.

Given those three options, what would you do? I plumped for the fun, and eagerly awaited the arrival of my new phone. Fast forward 4 days and it still hadn't arrived. I checked on the O₂ website under the function 'track my order', to find they had marked it 'delivered' ... only trouble was they delivered it to our old address (even though they knew our new address!) How frustrating is that? I called O₂, who apologised for keeping me on hold for 10 minutes whilst they tried to locate the phone, but didn't apologise for delivering it to the wrong address in the first place!

When it did get delivered the next day BY AN O₂ COURIER (remember that bit - it's important), it was apparent that it wasn't a new phone. It wasn't in its 'proper' box, had no software, no leads, no earphones and no manual. O₂ told me they always replace faulty handsets with reconditioned ones, and as I was 10 months into the contract, I guess I couldn't really complain. I had to download the software direct from the Interweb, and found an online manual (just as well, as I couldn't work out how to switch it on :-O *blush* ).

Anyway, there I was with my reconditioned Samsung Tocco F480:

It's a touchscreen phone, which I slowly got used to, and is very pretty. I managed to use the Bluetooth to transfer a picture of a sock monkey as my wallpaper, and to put some ringtones on there. All ok and feeling very much like 'my' new phone. Or so I thought.

When the first person I talked to commented that it was a shockingly bad line, I thought little of it. When the second person said 'what on earth's that awful noise?' I began to wonder. However, subsequent calls were all the same - I could hear, but the person to whom I was talking heard horrible loud crackly noises, and could hardly hear me at all. It didn't matter if I was indoors or out, or where I was - it was always the same. Now call me strange, but the main thing I want my mobile phone to do is to allow me to communicate telephonically with others.

I called O₂ from the handset. "It's a dreadful line!" they said. I said no, it wasn't, that was what this phone 'did'. I was told they didn't have anything else in stock to offer me - could I call back 48 hours later? I did. I called from the handset again, and once more they commented on the background noise. They said they still had nothing in stock to offer me as a replacement, so they transferred me to the Returns Department. They didn't have anything in stock to offer me either, so could I please call back 48 hours later and see what they had then? Bear in mind, this was now over 2 weeks since my original phone (still in warranty) malfunctioned. I called back 48 hours later - this time the O₂ operative told me it was such a terrible racket he couldn't hear me. Would I please call from a landline? I did. I was told they still had nothing in stock to offer me - could I call back 3 days' later?

I wasn't a happy bunny. I called Trading Standards and on the telling of my story was given a reference number. If TS give you a number, you have a case. The guy I spoke to then advised me what to say - in writing - to O₂. Apparently if you use certain language it is clear that Trading Standards are involved, and the company with whom you are dealing tend to take more notice. I posted off my letter by recorded delivery the next day. I also copied it in an email to their Customer Service Department.

Within 2 hours I had received an email in response:

Unfortunately, we were unable to arrange a replacement handset for you because the address you claim to live at is invalid. This will either be because it is a business address, or it is not registered.

The address you supplied is:

{{{insert my home address}}}

Please note: {{***}} (the couriers we use) are an independent courier service who will deliver to valid residential addresses only.

Please contact us on **** *** **** and supply us with a valid residential address for your handset to be sent to.

Thank You

So ... the address to which they had delivered the faulty handset a week earlier, using their own courier, was now an 'invalid' address and their courier couldn't come here. How bizarre is that? I responded to the effect that it was neither a business address nor an invalid one, but was a house to which they had already delivered! But no - they wouldn't have it. They insisted I return the faulty Tocco, and on receipt of that, they would send me another replacement Tocco - but only to a 'valid' address - ie. not mine. I had to give them my mum's address in the end.

I returned the faulty phone and within 48 hours another was delivered to mum's house. Like the first Tocco it wasn't in a 'proper' box, or with cables, software or manual, but it did work. I'm now used to the touch screen, and am gradually finding my way round the user interface. It's a great little phone, and I recommend it to anyone considering upgrading their current handset.

About 10 days later, I had a call from a chap called Andy in the O₂ Complaints Department. He was very nice, but then I guess it's his job to be very nice. He said all the right things - apologised for the c*ck-ups and said he couldn't understand the mix-up over my address being 'invalid'. And then he gave me a hefty credit on my account by way of compensation. Previously, I have always found O₂ an excellent company with whom to deal - they've put right what went wrong, and you can't do more than that, can you? But crikey, it was a bit frustrating in the middle of it all. Let's hope it was a one-off, eh?

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Wanted ... apparently

I was shocked when the kids told me, over the Christmas holidays, that they thought it was time I got a boyfriend. I was driving, and such a huge surprise could have made for a nasty accident. Fortunately the roundabout was empty of other traffic, so my veering into another lane was ultimately of no consequence.

After I'd got over the shock, I laughed. Then I asked them to do what the children in 'Mary Poppins' did when they were getting a new nanny: write down what characteristics they felt were desirable for this (mythical) potential man in our lives. The eventual list made me laugh out loud, and I thought it worth blogging - for both posterity, and comedy value.

This is exactly what they wrote:

• A nice man who is kind
• He must not be selfish
• He must be funny
• He must like music
• He must be good on the computer (and have his own) (I had to laugh ... No.1 would like help with computer 'issues' but not someone who will use her the kids' computer!)
• He should like sport, watch sport, and/or play sport (Guess who insisted on that bit? ;-))
• He must like football, but preferably not support Everton or Man Utd (Guess who again?!)
• He must like animals, and care about Georgie and Herbie. It would be nice if he liked dogs, and would consider having one in the future, because we'd like one.
• It would be great if he was good at cooking, but not if he ate all our sweets. But if he liked Crunchies it would be good because we don't, and there are some left out of our Selection Boxes.
• He would preferably be fairly good looking (Mum would like someone who looks like George Clooney)
• He must not be gay (What the ... ?!?!?!?!)
• He must not kiss Mum in public or in front of us
• He must not enjoy embarrassing children (like their mother does ;-) )
• It would be nice if he had his own children
• He should be able to drive
• He shouldn't be very poor but doesn't have to be rich
• He must not be attracted to other women
• He must not hate Dad
• He should not wear frilly pants (?!)
• He must not be mean to us
• He should be between 1 and 100 (Plenty of scope there then?!)
• He must like The Simpsons
• He should be willing to play games with us - board games, PlayStation games, Wii games, etc.
• He must not snore loudly
• He must be alive (?!)
• He must not have a piggy nose

So there you have it. No piggy-nosed, embarrassing, Manchester Utd-supporting, computer-illiterate, dead chaps need apply. You won't even get an interview.

I'm not at all sure I'm keen on the idea. My lack of enthusiasm for the 'project' met with disappointment from the kids. No.1 informed me of the existence of Match.com - she said she'd seen some adverts of really nice and funny people! How come she's noticed those adverts, but I'm not aware I've ever seen a single one?

It's very sweet of them to be caring about me and my sad, lonely existence, (and if I'm honest, I do feel rather lonely every so often) but I wonder if I'm in quite the 'right place' mentally or emotionally just now. And anyway - I need to do several zillion sit ups to flatten my stomach first. ;-)

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A Peg Bag, Some Pinnies, & Other Makes

As with most crafty bloggers, there were things I made before Christmas which I couldn't show because the items were surprises. But now the packages have been opened - I can reveal all (so to speak). I decided that as I didn't/don't have much dosh, I would make as many gifts as I could this year ... and so I did.

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The 'Peg Bag' in the title of this post refers to the fact that my friend 'F' said ... 'Would you make me something I especially want for Christmas?' 'Of course' I replied, hoping against hope that it wouldn't be something horribly difficult. 'I'd like a really nice peg bag' she said. 'Oh ... ok then'. It had to be pale blue and pretty - I had no guidelines other than that. Where do you start with such a project? Well, I started with a pale blue clothes hanger, and went from there. I drew round the top (shoulder) part of it, and made the rest up as I went along. It turned out like this:

The only pale blue fabric I had was this flannel, and the floral contrast is some vintage stuff that my Aunt chucked my way when she cleared out her sewing box.

I bought some nice new wooden pegs to go in the peg bag, but wanted to make something else for 'F' ... so she got a matching apron:

She seems to really like both gifts, so that's good. (Apologies for the picture quality, but trying to take good pictures in late December is almost impossible, isn't it?)

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I quite liked that apron when it was finished, and decided a homemade apron would make an appropriate gift for other friends. So I made some more with that lovely bright spotty fabric I showed you last month:

A red one, a green one, a pink one, a blue one, a yellow one, and another red one. I improvised and made a large central pocket on these ones - in the same contrast fabric(s) as the straps:

The various recipients seemed pleased with their new aprons, and I really enjoyed making them, so will definitely be making myself one (or more) at some point.

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Do you remember the bags I made for my twin Aunties? And then Mum said she wanted one? I didn't have enough of the charcoal twill left so used some navy twill for the new one, then Mum said she wanted a black one not a blue one ... I might have rolled my eyes a little at this juncture ... so one of the Aunties got the new blue one. The first two I made looked a lot better once they'd had a proper press:

And this is the third one - navy twill, with a lining of navy with white spot:

I was happier with this one than the first two. I knew what I was doing, and it went together better somehow. Anyway, the Aunties and Mum were all very pleased with their bags, and I'm sure I'll be making more through this year; perhaps in different styles (if I get brave enough).

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I did a bit of knitting towards Christmas too. Only scarves:

But they did have lovely textures:

And I put some appliqué on the end of some of them too, just to add a bit of interest:

I even got the crochet hook out to make a wibbly-wobbly edge on the wine red one. I haven't crocheted in years and years and years, but it turned out to be like riding a bike. Not with pedals and a handlebar, but you know what I mean. Ha! I just had a mental image of myself crocheting whilst wearing a cycle helmet ... not a good look!

That wine coloured one was special in that it was made for a friend who lost her mum some years ago. That yarn was found in her mum's cupboard - a project that didn't get finished, unfortunately - and passed to me. I still have more yarn left, so hope to make her something else with it one day.

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We did lots of baking in the lead-up to Christmas. Luckily both the Wrinklets seem to like baking - and eating the results, of course. Some of these were for us, some were gifts to take elsewhere:

(1) Apple & Ginger Squares (2) Chocolate Brownies (3) Cinnamon Trees (4) Millionnaire's Shortbread (5) Cherry & Choc Chip Flapjacks (6) Chocolate-drizzled Stars (7) Chocolate Caramel Krispies (8) Wheat-free Shortbread

All those makes tasted good, apart from the Millionnaire's Shortbread, which was so completely disgusting I binned the whole lot! Needless to say, I won't be using that particular recipe again.

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Right, I think that's me up to date on the 'blogging the makes' front .... oh, except for a few monkeys. But I'll save those for another time.

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