A Question of Loyalty

Earlier on in November I attended a 'friendly' match for No.2's football team. I say friendly in inverted commas because it was never, in a million years, going to involve anything remotely friendly.

Last season there was the Coach - as I've said before, she's a laydee coach, which is unusual in kids' football, but she's fabulous, and the kids love her. There was an assistant coach too - let's call him 'Mr Gone-Now' shall we? Late on in the season, a new boy joined, and new boy's father (who by profession is a martial arts teacher) asked if he could help with training too. The Assistant Coach had his nose put out of joint - not literally, via a martial art, but because there was another male on his territory, and all that masculine malarkey. So he left.

He decided to start a new team and act as their coach, and thus a nearby village acquired a boy's team of that age group, with a brand spanking new coach. Nothing wrong with that. Where it started getting a bit questionable was when Mr Gone-Now started poaching players. I guess it was up to the parents of those boys to decide where their sons would play football, but surely the question of loyalty and/or allegiance arose? Anyway, by a fortunate quirk of fate the two teams weren't drawn together for any matches in the league for this season; but when a gap in fixtures occurred, Mr Gone-Now approached Laydee Coach and said 'how about a friendly then?' and, even though she wondered if she should, she couldn't resist.

The boys were very keyed up about it. No.2 had a teammate pal over for a sleepover a couple of days before the game: they were up chatting for ages about tactics, how they could win, how many they could win by, etc. The day dawned, bright but freezing cold. There was much parental support on the sidelines. The boys were ready. The respective coaches were a good 20 feet apart and not speaking. For the first game, our lot's (new) Assistant Coach (let's call him Mr Jujitsu) referee'd. All went smoothly, apart from the fact that their lot won 3-2. No.2's team weren't great in the first half - obviously nervous; but in the second half they were brilliant - the half just needed to last another 5 minutes so they could score again.

For the second game, their lot's Assistant Coach referee'd. Never seen him before in my life so I feel pathetically unable to give him a fitting moniker. It very quickly became clear, however, that this chap wasn't the most objective referee going. He gave lots of fouls against our players, but very few against theirs (I later discovered he is their coach's brother!) One of their players in particular (he's a bigger boy than all the others, and admittedly a good player) was getting stuck in with an enthusiasm our lot aren't used to. A couple of our players were hurt to the point of tears. Oh dear. When one of 'ours' next got injured courtesy of that player, and was on the floor having a little sob, Laydee Coach ran onto the pitch to assess the injury. She appealed to the Ref to ask if he could please advise that particular player to tone it down a bit. The Ref apparently said 'if you think you can do better, do it yourself', promptly threw his whistle at her, and stomped off the pitch. :-O This was not only unchivalrous, aggressive and rude, but not the way for a referee to behave. Laydee Coach said she didn't expect to be spoken to that way, that it was a lousy example to set the kids, and she was calling it off. Game abandoned. Mr Gone-Now was not happy and made his feelings known. It was all very unfortunate (especially as our lot were winning 2-1!)

It made me think about the issue of loyalty as a whole. Are people not as loyal as they used to be? Do some of us not value the quality of loyalty as much as others? What, precisely, makes one 'loyal' and what are the parameters thereof? I googled:

loyalty

Noun

pl -ties

1. the quality of being loyal

2. a feeling of friendship, allegiance or duty towards someone or something

I guess it's a question of an unspoken alliance and whether or not we are prepared to commit to said alliance? Obviously to remain allied to someone or something which makes us unhappy, upset or hurt, might not be good for us. Mind you, I've supported the Villa through times which have made me unhappy, upset AND hurt - it hasn't stopped me remaining a supporter.

Some companies offer Loyalty Cards of course. A scheme through which (if one remembers one's flippin' card) one can reap 'rewards' or benefits through continued custom. (On the subject of which, I've lost my Boots card. I've searched everywhere, can't find it ... where could it be? I was in there last week buying yet more Calpol, went to hand it over and it wasn't there, where it always lives. How strange.) Some companies offer great incentives for new customers (I'm thinking mobile phone deals, magazine subscription deals, even banking and mortgage deals) but they're often not so quick to reward old, loyal customers. Is it only humans who practice loyalty, or are animals loyal? Dogs have a reputation for being very loyal of course - I've never had a dog, so can't compare, but I like to think the cats I've owned have been committed in their allegiance. Or maybe that's just because I fed them?

I imagine Mr Gone-Now would say being Assistant Coach once Mr Jujitsu joined in, made him unhappy, upset and/or hurt. Perhaps the boys who defected to his new club felt unhappy at their previous one? A few days after the game that got abandoned, an anonymous 'someone' made an official complaint to our club's Chairman about the conduct of Laydee Coach in calling off the game. Since the referee had left the pitch in such circumstances, what else should she have done? She was worried about losing her 'job', but thankfully once he had heard what happened, the Chairman was fine about it.

The whole episode has left me quite thoughtful. Those young boys have had an early lesson in the quirks of human nature. I hope it's taught No.2 something about the question of loyalty, and the various ramifications thereof.

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PS: I'm sorry I haven't been round to read and comment on lots of blogs over the past few days, but I succumbed to the kids' germs, and have been (and am) feeling a bit *bleurgh* :-(

PPS: My guess at the films No.1 would want to watch whilst she was poorly, were completely wrong. What we actually watched was 'Harry Potter & The Philosopher's Stone', 'Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back', 'High Society' and 'Beauty & The Beast: The Enchanted Christmas'.