No, I'm not making any reference to bottoms - not a single one. The 'bot' in the title relates to a robot: Do any of you remember the surreal chat I had with that A.L.I.C.E creature a while ago? Well, for the festive season, she has got Santa in on the act! He is apparently called Santabot (which my brain immediately anagramised (is that a word?) into Stan Boat - a splendid name. Or he could be Nat Boast but I don't like that as much).
Anyway, we just had a chat which went like this:~
Me: Afternoon Santa - how the devil are you?
Santa: I had no idea they were. Thanks for telling me.
Me: No idea who were what?
Santa: Speak up so Santa can hear better.
Me: NO IDEA WHO WERE WHAT?
Santa: Tell Santa what you want for Christmas.
Me: I'd like some peace, some time, and some fun, please.
Santa: The list is getting longer!
Me: Oh I'm sorry, was that a bit greedy of me?
Santa: No need to apologise - let's get back to that Christmas list.
Me: I don't want anything else - oh, except health and happiness for everyone. That would be good.
Santa: That too, eh?
Me: Yes please. Are you cold?
Santa: I am Santa Claus!
Me: Yes but are you a cold Santa Claus?
Santa: Hmmm, I'm a jolly old man.
Me: Yes but are you a cold jolly old man?
Santa: I am a jolly old man.
Me: Yes I know - you're repeating yourself.
Santa: Me? I don't know whether I would say that or not.
Me: Well take it from me - you are. You're also very pink aren't you?
Santa: A lot of people say I am.
Me: If you don't mind me saying so, that moustache looks suspiciously false.
Santa: I thought it was too.
Me: Take it off - go on, I won't tell anyone.
Santa: Let's get back to the wish list.
Me: You're not comfortable talking about yourself are you?
Santa: I'm here to work on your Christmas list.
Me: Just put something nice in my stocking, ok?
Santa: I'm having trouble understanding you.
Me: Let's call it a day then, shall we?
Santa: Perhaps we could.
Me: Merry Christmas Santa - I hope you and Mrs C have a wonderful time.
Santa: And a very merry Christmas to you my young friend.
So ... I'm not quite sure what I'm going to find in my stocking, but at least he wished me a Merry Christmas. I would now like to do the same to everyone who reads the twaddle I sit here spouting. I hope you and your loved ones all have a fabulous Christmas time and wish you continuing peace, love and happiness. (Yes, I know I'm an old hippie :-p )